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Full text of "Batman (1966) Final Draft Screenplay
"
See other formats
BATMAN
SCREENPLAY
BY
LORENZO SEMPLE, JR.
PRODUCER
WILLIAM DOZIER
DIRECTOR
LES MARTINSON
ASSOCIATE PRODUCER
CHARLES FITZSIMMONS
GREENWAY PRODUCTIONS
FOR
KNOUNTALLIOE.COhY
FINAL DRAFT
-106-
APRIL 6, 1966
BATMAN
Screenplay
by
Lorenzo Semple, Jr.
Producer
William Dozier
Director
Les Martinson
Associate Producer
Charles FitzSimons
FINAL
A GREENWAY PRODUCTION April 6, 1966
FOR
108 TWENTIETH CENTURY-FOX
KEWOUITALLIO“. CObd
108
BATMAN
FADE IN
EXT. WAYNE MANOR GATES - DAY
A snazzy convertible comes up road at great speed, turns
in through gates into driveway. Occupants are BRUCE WAYNE
and DICK GRAYSON.
EXT. DRIVEWAY - DAy
AUNT HARRIET kneels at the floral border ina floppy hat,
gardening. ALFRED sits nonchalantly on a shooting stick,
holding a colorful parasol over her head. The convertible
hurtles up driveway past them. Aunt Harriet throws a
cheery wave after retreating car, goes back to her gardening.
EXT. FRONT OF WAYNE MANOR ~ DAY
Convertible stops in a shower of gravel. Bruce and Dick leap
out, run inside.
INT. WAYNE MANOR HALL - DAY
Bruce and Dick dash down hall.
INT. BRUCE'S STUDY - DAY
Bruce and Dick run in, close door, operate Secret Switch
in Shakespeare pate. Batpoles are revealed. They run to
them, leap aboard, slide down.
INT. BATPOLE SHAFT - UP SHOT - SPECIAL EFFECT
giving KALEIDOSCOPIC EFFECT of someone spinning down a
burnished shaft in a COLORFUL FLURRY of what might be
changing clothing.
INT. BATPOLE SHAFT - UP SHOT - SPECIAL EFFECT
More of the same.
INT. BATCAVE
BATMAN and ROBIN emerge in their regalia, dash to the waiting
Batmobile and jump in.
CLOSER SHOT - BATMOBILE
as Batman fires it up, Robin eyes instruments.
Cont.
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb)
108
9 Cont.
10
11
12
REVISED - BATMAN" - 8/12/66 2
ROBIN
Atomio batteries to POWER...
Turbines to SPEED...
Vroooom! Batmobile shoots out into tunnel.
EXT. BATCAVE ENTRANCE ~- DAY
Secret opening in hillside operates, Batmobile shoots out
and turns onto highway.
EXT. ROAD ~ SPEEDING BATMOBILE - DAY
The great vehicle WHINES along at inoredible speed.
EXT. BATMOBILE COCKPIT ~- DAY (PROCESS)
‘Robin picks up Mobile Batphone, speaks into it ourtly:
13
14
15
ROBIN
Batmobile to airport, Red Alert)
Prepare BATCOPTER for immediate
take-off! Batmobile, over and out!
INT. AIRPORT HANGAR - DAY
A ground tractor emerges, towing the wondrous-looking
BATCOPTER.
FAST DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. AIRPORT RUNWAY - DAY
Batcopter is parked with turning rotors, as a couple, of
GROUND CREWMEN wearing Batinsignias on their backs scramble ,
around it. CAMERA PANS to pick up Batmobile speeding across
field.
INT. AIRPORT CONTROL TOWER - DAY
Two CONTROLLERS present, one looking out at field with
binoculars as other tends radio and radar, etc.
FIRST CONTROLLER
(matter-of-fact
Batmobile crossing field....
Second Controller pushes switches, speaks into mike:
SECOND CONTROLLER
Gotham Tower to all aircraft in
Gotham Control Zone... Enter your
holding-pattern. Repeat. Enter
your holding-pattern! Batcopteb
taking off] Red alert!
KNOUNTALLIO“E. COPY
108
16
17
18
19.
20
el
22
23
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 3
EXT, RUNWAY - FEATURE BATCOPTER
Batman and Robin leap from Batmobile, climb into Batcopter
as Crewmen.give thumbs-up signals over the clattering SOUND
of BATCOPTER.
INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT - DAY
Batman picks up hand mike from instrument panel and speaks
into it:
BATMAN
Batman to Tower... Ready for
take- off on one-seven-oh.
INT. CONTROL TOWER - DAY
SECOND CONTROLLER
Batcopter, cleared for take-off,
BATMAN'S VOICE
(from radio)
Request permission for straight-
out departure, bearing eight-six,
SECOND CONTROLLER
Tower to Batman, affirmative,
The sky is all yours, Batman!
EXT. BATCOPTER - FULL SHOT
It rises swiftly, heads away on a fast olimbing course
over the field.
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT, BATCOPTER IN FLIGHT - DAY
from ANOTHER HELICOPTER ABOVE, showing Batcopter passing
over city.
EXT. ROOF TOP - DAY
A hevy of GORGEOUS GALS in bikinis are playing volleyball.
SOUND of HELICOPTER is heard. The girls react, look up.
THEIR P.0O.V., - THE BATCOPTER
wailing overhead.
EXT. ROOF TOP - THE GIRLS
They abandon their game, race to edge of roof and look up,
wave and SHRIEK in wild AD-LIBS. Abandon as they blow
kisses.
Cont.
WOUNTALLIOE COPY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 4
23 Cont.
GIRLS
Ooooh! Batman! Batman! Ooooh!
BATMAN! !!!
24 ° INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
Batman glances down, smiles, impassively returns his eye
to controls and instruments.
25 EXT. ANOTHER ROOF TOP - DAY
x Some young TEEN-AGE.GIRLS are taking ballet lessons from
an INSTRUCTRESS to tune of phonograph. , SQUND of HELICOPTER
is heard. GIRLS look up, react. They start leaping up
and down and squealing in passion to the dismay of the
INSTRUCTRESS.
. _ TEEN-AGERS
Oooooh! Robin! Robin! Ooooh!
ROBIN!
A-25 INT, BATCOPTER COCKPIT ~ DAY (PROCESS)
Robin looks down, tosses a little half-salute.
B-25 EXT, CITY STREET - DAY
A PLATOON OF COPS marches briskly along behind their
SERGEANT. Familiar SOUND of BATCOPTER heard, They look
up en masse,
C-25 THEIR P.O.V. - THE BATCOPTER
D-25 BACK TO STREET - THE COPS
Without breaking stride, they all whip off their hats,
hold them in salute over their breasts, march right on.
B-25 EXT. CITY PARK ~ TWO OLD FOLK - DAY
The oldsters, man and wife, are spreading out picnic
things when BATCOPTER is HEARD. They pause, look up.
P-25 THEIR P.O.V. - THE BATCOPTER
G-25 BACK TO PARK - THE OLD FOLK
Still gawking up, the man takes his wife's hand, squeezes
it warmly. She lays her head on the old gaffer's shoulder.
Cont.
108
KNOUNTALLIOE. COMM -
108
G@-25 Cont.
26
27
28
29
30
MAN
Gives a feller a good feelin' to
know they're up there on the job,
don't it, Maw? A safe feelin'...
WOMAN
Sure does, Paw. ~
INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT ~ DAY (PROCESS)
BATMAN
Batscanner reading...
Robin swivels head, eyes Batscanner.
ROBIN
Vector seven! Radar Batlock,
heading two-one-one!
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. BATCOPTER IN FLIGHT - DAY
now sailing along over WATER.
INT, BATCOPTER COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
Batman reacts to something ahead and down, taps Robin on
shoulder and points.
EXT. YACHT AT SEA - AERIAL SHOT - DAY
A seagoing luxury craft, plowing ahead through mildly
choppy sea.
BACK TO COCKPIT
BATMAN
Activate Batlanding Computer...
Robin flicks switches on device like bombsight, but much
more complex, puts his eye to the sight.
ROBIN
Batdrift Angle: zero-three to
starboard...
BATMAN
Roger. Correcting to port...
Cont.
KNOUITALLION“.COb/
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 6
30 Cont.
31
32
33
x
34
35
108
ROBIN
Altitude, three-one-seven...
Sink-rate, point four-nine...
BATMAN
Drop Batiadder!
Robin yanks on a lever.
ROBIN
Batladder away!
EXT, FLYING BATCOPTER - CLOSER SHOT
as BATLADDER drops from a hatch in bottom.
INT, COCKPIT
BATMAN
Lock computer on afterdeck. Set
Automatic Bathold.
ROBIN
Bathold set! ‘
EXT. BATCOPTER OVER YACHT - DAY
Batcopter approaches yacht with Batladder dangling in
slipstream, hovers above it. Batladder has sign hanging
from bottom step saying "Batladder".
INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT
Batman slips from his seat, pulls open floor hatch,
prepares to descend.
ROBIN
Watch out, Batman. This could be
tricky!
BATMAN
Have no fear, Robin. I'11 keep
all my wits about me. So long,
for a minute! ;
Batman swings down through floor hatch.
EXT. FLYING BATCOPTER - SHOOTING UP
Batman emerges beneath cockpit, starts easily down the
ladder. He looks down,
KNOUNTALLIOE CODY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 7
36 EXT, YACHT - P.0.V. SHOT
Its deck is very close now, below the end of the Batiadder.
37 CLOSE SHOT - BATMAN ON LADDER
He pulls little RADIO from his Utility Belt, speaks into
it.
BATMAN
Batman to Robin, ease off on the
power! Increase sink-rate!
38 INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT - ROBIN
He turns knob on Automatic Bathold device, speaks into a
hand mike: :
ROBIN
Roger! Wilco!
39 EXT. BATMAN ON LADDER - SHOOTING DOWN - SPECIAL EFFECT
As Batman at extreme bottom of ladder gets very close to
deck, sinking, suddenly THE YACHT SIMPLY DISAPPEARS.
Faster than eye can blink, ship is gone!
40 EXT, BATMAN ON LADDER
His feet hit the white caps.
Aq BIG CLOSEUP - BATMAN
shouting wildly up:
BATMAN
Emergency! Super-power! TAKE
HER UP!
42 INT. COCKPIT - ROBIN
He dives for controls.
43 EXT, BATMAN ON LADDER
Suddenly a MONSTER SHARK leaps from water and clamps its
hideous jaws around a Batman thigh. At same instant,
Batcopter reacts to application of Super-power, bounds
skyward, taking Batman-mit-shark on ladder with it.
44 BIG REACTION SHOT ~ ROBIN
gaping down floor hatch.
ROBIN
x Holy sardine 321,
108
NOUNTALLSOE CODY
45
46
4?
48
49
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 8
EXT. BATMAN AND SHARK ON LADDER - VARIOUS SHOTS
as unusual strife ensues: mid-air life and death combat
with a huge, writhing, snapping, slippery monster of the
deep. Batman wrestles, punches, chokes, but flapping
shark won't let go its nideous grip. As ladder swings
crazily during all this, Batman manages to get out his
little radio with one hand, yells into it:
BATMAN
Batman to Robin, Super-emergencyl
Swing me down the shark repellent
BATSPRAY!!2
INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT ~ ROBIN
He leaps into action, seizes a SPRAY CAN labeled
SHARK REPELLENT from a clip-on rack holding several such
containers, labelled WHALE REPELLENT, OCTOPUS REPELLENT,
MANTARAY REPELLENT - under a general sign
"OCEANIC REPELLENT BATSPRAYS", Robin climbs out through
the Batcopter door.
EXT. BATCOPTER AND LADDER
Robin swings upside down ty his knees, trapeze fashion,
extending down the spray can. Batman, still battling
shark, reaches up. Stretch, stretch, stretch. Batman's
fingers get the can. SPWIFFl In the monster's slimy face.
Shark lets go, out cold.
DOWN SHOT ~- FROM HELICOPTER
Shark tumbles end over end, a hundred feet at least,
hits the water, Not just a huge SPLASH when it hits:
a MONSTER EXPLOSION, about a ton of TNT.
TWO SHOT - BATMAN AND ROBIN IN MID-AIR
looking down, Robin still hanging upside down above
Caped Crusader.
ROBIN
(awed)
Holy barber shop} That was a
close shave}
BATMAN
(grim)
An exploding shark... One of the
most fiendish traps we've ever
escaped...
Cont.
NOUNTALLIOE CODY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 9
h9 Cont.
ROBIN
x And a ship that wasn't there}
BATMAN
I have a feeling: this case is
going to be a strange one.
SMASH INTO:
50 MAIN TITLES
At conclusion of which:
DISSOLVE TO:
51 EXT. POLICE HEADQUARTERS - FULL SHOT - DAY
ESTABLISHING it.
52 INT. GORDON'S OFFICE - DAY
COMMISSIONER GORDON sits back of his desk, flanked by
Batman and Robin. CHIEF O'HARA stands to one side.
Facing them are a bunch of: REPORTERS and PHOTOGRAPHERS,
including sa sexy-looking Russian deme who goes by name
of KITKA. As photographers loose FLASHBULB barrage,
Batman lifts his hands.
GORDON
xX All right... Enough pictures.
BATMAN
xX This Press Conference must be
brief, ladies and gentlemen.
O'HARA
x It's kind of the Dynamic Duo to
grant one at all}
BATMAN
(points)
You there. Mr. Merrick of the
Gotham City Times...
MERRICK
According to rumor, Batman, a
transatlantic yacht approaching
this city has simply disappeared...
Cont.
108
WOUNTALLIOE CODY
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66 g-A
52 Cont.
BATMAN
(easily)
Nonsense. How can a yacht "simply
disappear"? ;
MERRICK
You mean it's not true?
BATMAN
I stand on my answer, Mr. Merrick,
(points again)
Mr. Stanley of the Globe...
STANLEY
This yacht, I believe, belonged to
the famous SCHLEPP'S WHISKY COMPANY.
The firm's proprietor, Commander Redhead,
is rumored bringing with him a fantastic
new invention from the Schlepp's
Research Laboratory...
Cont.
KNOUNTALLIOE.CORS ©
108
10
52 Cont.
BATMAN
(cuts in)
Please. No more questions about
that ship.
ROBIN
Just take our word, fellas.
Everything's completely under
control!
MERRICK
What about that exploding shark?
BATMAN
Doubtless an unfortunate animal
who chanced to swallow a floating
mine.
’ Bruce has a look, reacts with equal startlement.
BRUCE
Incredible! I don't...
(then, digging
Robin's ruse)
Ah. Of course. Clever...
KITKA
x Clever, Comrade Wayne?
Bruce realizes that was near. boo-boo; hastens'on easily.
BRUCE
x I mean...Clever dévice...It's the
famous Batsignal, Miss Kitka.
Flashed from the roof of police
headquarters. Batman and Robin
must be racing there now’ in response
to it!
Kitka has another glance back up at Batsignal.
108
WOUNTALLIOE COPS
108
A-159
REVISED - "BATMAK" ~ 4/12/66
EXT, SKY - BATSIGNAL ON CLOUD (BATSTOCK)
KITKA
(kittenish)
Then you did get the police to
call them In...for my protection.
BRUCE
Eh... Yes.
KITKA
(snuggling up)
How purr-fectly wonderful of you.
WOUNTALLSOE CODY
514A
x
52
B-159 BACK TO BRUCE AND KITKA - HANSOM CAB
Kitka turns from window, puts her face close to Bruce's.
KITKA
I close my eyes-and dream of the
savage cossacks, racing over the
steppes on their brutal mission!
BRUCE
How strange. I close my eyes
and
{closing them)
i dream of sometning Snaa
astunisningiy different.
KITKA
Da, dai Keep your eyes closed,
comrade
t
{lips brush
kis cheek)
Continue with tnis dream...
Bruce sinks back in seat. Kitka does not do likewise.
With swift movements, she pulls from her evening coat
a largish brooch in shape of a JEWELED CAT, flips it
open, Tiny RADIO TRANSMITTER inside. She pulls a pin
from her hair, opens it telescope-fashion to 18" length,
sticks it into a socket in cat's head. An antenna. And
cat's articulated tail is a MORSE SENDING KEY, on which
Kitka quickly starts tapping out a message. During
which:
BRUCE
The dream continues...
KITKA
Da.,.da!
BRUCE
It approaches a climax..
KITKA
Nyet! Not so fast, Comrade.
Be more siow!
BRUCE
Miss Kitka... May I see you
home to that borrowed penthouse
apartment?
BAT WHIP TO:
108
KNOUITALLIO“.COb/
108
160
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 53
INT, UNITED UNDERGROUND HEADQUARTERS - NIGHT
Riddler is at powerful Penguin-type radio receiver, wearing
earphones. Grouped around him attentively are Penguin, Joker
and three piratical thugs, Bluebeard, Morgan and Quetch.
DIT-DAH MORSE SOUNDS for a beat or two, then they cease.
Riddler snatches off earphones, jumps to his feet.
RIDDLER
He's swallowed the cat bait!
JOKER
And now to make him Batbait.
PENGUIN
Messrs. Bluebeard, Morgan, Quetch!
Break out the jéet-pack umbrellas!
ALL THREE
Yo-ho-ho!
They race for a closet in b.g.
BAT WHIP TO:
KNOUNTALLIOE.COhY
54
161 INT. KiTKA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
A luxurious penthouse living room, with balcony and lights
of Gotham City beyond. Lamps are low, muted music issues
from hi-fi. Kitka smiles at Bruce, all but purrs:
KITKA
Excuse me. I'll slip into something
more comfortable while your cocoa's
warming...
162 INSERT - BATSCANNER SCREEN IN BATMOBILE
Kitka throws her arms ercund Bruce's neck, presses her lips
to his. ROBIN'S HAND darts INTO SHOT, turns a switch.
SCREEN GOES PLANK,
163 EXT. ALLEYWAY - PARKED BATMCBILE - NIGHT
ALFRED
Is that prudent, Master Robin?
ur instructions were to keep watch.
ROBIN
I don't knew about "prudent", Alfred.
But it's sure as heck the only decent
thing to do!
ALFRED
Perhaps... Perhaps...
As Alfred and Rcbin settle back comfortably in the cockpit,
CAMERA WHIP-TILTS UP TO:
164 EXT, NIGHT SKY - FLYING CRIMINALS (PROCESS)
Astonishing sight! Riddler, Penguin, Joker, Morgan, Bluebeard,
Quetch fly in file across the crescent moon, each with a
JET-PACK UMBRELLA strapped flamingly to his back! Riddler,
in the lead, locks down through a pair of binoculars.
RIDDLER
There it is! Seventy-third Street
and Concord Avenue!
(calling back)
Follow me! Down to the terrace!
They all reach behind them, turn knobs on their jet-packs.
They begin to sink against the starry sky.
165 INT. KITKA'S APARTMENT - NIGHT
Kitka emerges from bedroom in sensational negligee. She
stops, stands still as Bruce gulps and swallows and murmurs
reverently:
BRUCE
"And all my days are trances,
And all my nightly dreams
Are where thy dark eye glances
And where thy footstep gleams!"
KITKA
Otcha tchomya, Comrade Wayne,
108 Cont.
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb/
108
55
165 Cont.
166
167
BRUCE
Edgar Allen Poe, Miss Kitka.
"To One in Paradise", first stanza.
KITKA
That dream you had...
BRUCE
Do we dare? :
KITKA
Why not?
BRUCE
Indeed. Why not? What use is a
dream if not 4...olueprint for
couragecus action?
Kitka is rignt up against him new.
KIOKA
Into acticn, Comraije!
BRUCE
I have the strangest feeling,
Miss Kitka... I'm about to be...
utterly and madly CARRIED AWAY!
Truer words never spoken. Sudden WHOOSHING and FLUTTERING
and THUDDING SOUNDS from the terrace outside. Kitka and
Bruce spin arcund. CAMSRA PANS FAST. Riddler, Penguin and
Joker bound into rocm. In rapid succession:
RIDDLER
Greetings!
PENGUIN
This is a kidnapping!
JOKER
Our joke's on you!
REACTION SHOT - KITKA
She puts her hands to her face and SHRIEKS,
WIDER ANGLE
Riddler bounds over and lays rough hands on Kitka.
BRUCE
You filthy criminals!!!
He flies at Riddler, wallops him. Riddler sails over sofa,
but three pirate henchmen come crashing in from terrace by
way of reinforcement. TREMENDOUS FIGHT ensues with SUPERED
"PpOW!"-TYPE TITLES as Bruce single-handedly engages the entire
gang. He does pretty good, but odds are a bit high. As
Kitka shrieks, puts on convincing act of being a victim, end
finally comes for Bruce in form of a GRANDFATHER CLOCK wielded
by two thugs, broken in half over Bruce's head.
KNOUITALLION“. COb/
108
168
169
171
REVISED - "Barman" - 4/13/66 56
EXT, PARKED BATMOBILE - ALFRED AND ROBIN - NIGHT
Alfred glances at his wrist watch.
ALFRED
Much as one deplores indiscretion,
Master Robin...
ROBIN
You're right, Alfred. I'11 just
take one tiny-tiny peek...
Robin reaches for Batscanner knob.
INSERT - BATSCANNER SCREEN
as it glows to life. FULL SHOT of Kitka's demolished
living room. There is no one there. Curtains flap in
open terrace doorway.
BIG REACTION SHOT ~- ROBIN AND ALFRED
their heads close together as they gasp.
ROBIN
Holy demolition!
ALFRED
Bless my dustpan!!!
WIDER ANGLE - FEATURE ROBIN
leaping from Batmobile and grabbing Batarang from
Utility Belt.
ROBIN
Cover the exits, Alfred! I'11 race
up there with my Batrope!
: ALFRED
Very good, sir!
Robin leans back, arm eocked to throw up Batarang,
suddenly freezes. gaping straight up.
REACTION SHOT - ROBIN
ROBIN
Holy Halloween! : ;
EXT, NIGHT SKY - FLYING CRIMINALS (PROCESS)
Like hawks with prey, they're now carrying knocked-out
Bruce, also Kitka in her prettily streaming negligee.
WISPS OF CLOUD blow past them.
KNOUNTALLIOE.COhS a
108
174
175
176
177
Aeviony = DAIMAN = 4/12/00 57
BACK TO ALLEYWAY -— ROBIN
He gawks a moment longer, then comes to life, dives for
Batphone, grabs it up.
INT, GORDON'S OFFICE ~ NIGHT
as Gordon snatches up his flashing Red Phone.
GORDON
Yes??
ROBIN'S VOICE
(filtered)
Red Alert! Connect me at once with
the nearest Air Squadron of the
National Guard!
GORDON
Of course! Instantly!
(into another
phone
Bonnie. Would you plug the Batline
into sixty-nine - sixty-nine, please?
INT. SQUADRON OFFICE - NIGHT
Lone officer on duty, one MAJOR ‘TERRY, passing the. time
building a model airplane. On the desk a box labeled on
one side "Plastic Model Kit" and on the other "Any Child
Can Do it." Beside it, a large tube of model airplane
glue. His phone RINGS, he picks it up.
TERRY
Duty Officer, Major Terry.
: INTERCUT >
PHONE CONVERSATION - MAJOR TERRY AND ROBIN
ROBIN
Emergency! Airbourne kidnapping!
Major Terry is instantly on the ball at that,
TERRY
Good gravy! Give me the data!
ROBIN
Six criminals with Jet-Pack Penguin
Umbrellas! Estimated altitude,
twenty-two hundred!
TERRY
Bearing?
Cont.
_KNOUTTELLICE.COM)
58
177 Cont.
ROBIN
About one-two-oh! Light cloud
cover!
TERRY
We'll nab ‘em:
ROBIN
Be careful, Major! They're carry-
ing two victims! Don't shoot, just
Force them down!
TERRY
Naturally.
Major Terry puts down phone, picks up microphone and
flicks switch,
TERRY
(into mike)
Squadron...SCRAMBLE!
BAT WHIP TO:
108
KNOUTTALLION“.COb/
178
179
18q
181
182
183
184
208
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66 59
EXT. MILITARY AIRFIELD - VARIOUS SHOTS - NIGHT (STOCK)
showing pilots racing out, JET FIGHTERS TAKING OFF.
EXT, JETS AT ALTITUDE -. NIGHT (STOCK) .
They thunder through night sky in close formation.
EXT, NIGHT SKY - FLYING CRIMINALS (PROCESS)
as before, carrying Bruce and Kitka.
INT, JET COCKPIT ~ NIGHT (PROCESS)
Major Terry at controls, flicks on throat-mike or whatever.
TERRY
Tango Leader to Squadron, I
think I've got ‘em on my radar.
Twelve o'clock high, as we aay.
CLOSER SHOT - FLYING CRIMINALS
Riddler in lead, looking back over shoulder.
RIDDLER
Jets on our trail}
: PENGUIN
Drat the meddlesome creatures!
Quick! Up into the clouds!
RIDDLER
What use is that, birdbrain!?
They have radar!
JOKER
Ho-ho. Lucky you have me along,
boys! ; Ta
RIDDLER
Why ??
JOKER
I can jam it with my whimsical metallic
trick confetti... I'm never
without it!
CLOSER. ANGLE - JOKER
He starts grabbing METALLIC CONFETTI from pockets,’ throwing
it. :
EXT. CONFETTI AGAINST SKY - NIGHT
A great mass drifting down, glittering in the bright
moonlight.
KNOUNTALLIOE.COhY
60
185 INT, JET COCKPIT - NIGHT (PROCESS)
Major Terry reacts, fiddles with knobs on instrument panel.
186 INSERT ~ RADAR SCREEN
going completely BLOOIE,.
187 EXT. CONFETTI AGAINST SKY ~ NIGHT
more of same.
188 INT. JET COCKPIT - NIGHT (PROCESS)
Major Terry fiddles some more, gives up.
TERRY
Tango Leader to Squadron.
They've jammed the radar.
This mission is hopeless.
Break off pursuit, return to
base!
189 EXT, NIGHT SKY - FLYING CRIMINALS (PROCESS)
They look back over shoulders, begin to LAUGH, fly on
through the lovely night.
DISSOLVE TO;
Ie
\O
Q
INT, ROLLING NEWSPAPER PRESS (STOCK)
HOLD for a beat, then a NEWSPAPER SPINS OUT to fill the
screen. Cries gigantic headline: "BRUCE WAYNE AND COMPANION
KIDNAPPED! ATTRACTIVE GIRL FRIEND SEIZED IN BRAZEN SNATCH!"
BAT WHIP TO:
191 INT. WAYNE MANOR - LIVING ROOM ~ DAY
Aunt Harriet, super-crestfejlen Dick Grayson, also a somber
‘gent named MR. PERCY.
AUNT HARRIET
Be brave, Dick. Be-+couragecus..
It's a mark of good breeding.
DICK
Sure. JI know that, Aunt Harriet,
but...
Cont.
108
KNOUITALLIO“. CObd
61
AUNT HSRRIET
4s alive. Stop behaving as
this was somehow your fault,
k Grayson!
(turning)
y. As treasurer of the
@ation, you can draw
"to vouT”
AUNT HARRIET
Well, then, Kidnly go to the
bank at once, draw out ten
midiion collars in unmarked bills
of small denomination. When the
eon
al
om demand comes, I intend to
sig Aer
Front DOOR CHIME SOUNDS. Aunt Harriet jumps, they all turn.
192 INT. FRONT HALL ~- DAY
Alfred opens door, bleak-faced Commissioner Gordon hurries
in.
ALFRED
Cood morning, Commissioner.
GORDON
fias, Alfred. No. A singularly
bad morning...Only one silver lining
to our cloud. Miss Kitka was happily
incognito last night, otherwise I
nate to think what frigid blasts we'd
be receiving from tne Kremlin!
LIVING ROOM - DAY
kes
wo
Las
as Gordon enters, goes toward Aunt Harriet.
GORDON
My dear Mrs. Cooper...Dick.
Mr. Perey...I can only tell you
that every erfort was made. Still
is being made. What more can I do?
AUNT HARRIE’
art)
1 Batman, Commissioner.
(P25 ¢
You could cal
Cont.
108
KNOUITALLION“’.COb/
108
62
193 Cont.
194
_ 195
GORDON
Call him?? Do you think I've not
tried, Mrs. Cooper?
(marching to
phone, dialing)
Not a word from him since the
dreadful hour! The Batsignal
was turned on till dawn, I've been
telephoning every...
(to phone)
I'm at Wayne Manor, Bonnie. Plug
this into the Batphone Hot-Line,
try once again, will you?...
Thanks.
(to room)
Where is Batman, in this time
of need? Where is Robin, the
Boy Wonder?
DICK
Gosh. I think I left my electric
toothbrush running...
Dick turns, hastens out of living room.
INT, BRUCE'S STUDY ~- DAY
Batphone in f.g. starts FLASHING. Dick comes running into
study, closes door, dashes over and picks up Batphone
receiver.
DICK
Hello, Commissioner.
INTERCUT:
PHONE CONVERSATION - LIVING ROOM AND STUDY
GORDON
Boy Wonder! Thank heavens!
Tell Batman to leap into the
Batmobile, meet me at Wayne Manor
instantly!
DICK
I'm afraid that's...impossible,
Commissioner,
GORDON
Wnat? Impossible? Why??
Cont.
KNOUTTALLIO“.COb/
108
195 Cont.
196
DICK
Well...the truth is... Batman's
down with the flu.
GORDON
Surely you're joking, Boy Wonder!
Batman down with...
Dick cuts in with angry frustration:
DICK
Loox, Commissicner! How cften do
we have to tell you? Batman and
I are perfectly ordinary mortals!
We bleed, we feel, we get sick...
just like anyone else!
Dick bangs down phone, starts fast from study.
INT. LIVING ROOM - FEATURE GORDON
open-mouthed, holding dead phone. As he puts it down,
Dick comes hurrying beck in.
GORDON
Astonishing. The Boy Wonder
actually...snapped at me! It
can only mean.,.Batmen's condition
must be grave.
63 -
BAT WHIP TO:
KNOUITALLION“.COb/
108
197
198
199
200
201
wor
INT. U.U. HEADQUARTERS - DAY
OPEN MED, CLOSE on Bruce, disheveled from battle, sprawled
on sofa unconscious, with arms bound firmly behind his back,
CAMERA MOVES off Bruce to Joker who's kneeling nearby, working
on a section of floor with big screwdriver. HOLD for a
moment, then CAMERA PANS to Catwoman and Riddler at table.
They seem nervous and uneasy.
CATWOMAN
Strange.. Batman should've been
here hours ago.
RIDDLER
Maybe you didn't leave a clear
enough clue in your apartment...
CATWOMAN
Of course I did}
(troubled)
I can't understand why Batman
hasn't dashed into our trap...
FEATURE JOKER
He gives screw in floor last twist, looks around.
JOKER
All set! He puts his foot...
here. My secret jack-in-the-box -
fires, shooting him up through
the skylight into Penguin's giant
umbrella! What a humorous death!
EXT. TAVERN ROOF - DAY
A really GIGANTIC UMBRELLA has been set up, held in open
position by guy wires over a skylight. Penguin i8 up on a
ladder set against umbrella handle, merrily painting the
underside,
CLOSER SHOT - PENGUIN
Now we get closer view of Penguin's paint drum. It bears
a@ sKull and crossbones device, also prominent lettering:
"FATAL UMBRELLA POISON!" Humming as he works, Penguin slaps
on a last dollop of Umbrella Poison, puts top back on his
paint drum and starts down the ladder.
INT. HEADQUARTERS - BRUCE
His head stirs, he opens his eyes woozily.
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb/
202 HIS P.O.V. - BLURRED EFFECT
as room swims, then JUMPS INTO FOCUS. Catwoman, Joker
and Riddler all turn at Bruce's horse cry:
BRUCE
You abominable outlaws! WHAT
HAVE YOU DONE WITH MISS KITKA?!"
203 CLOSE SHOT - CATWOMAN
She's in her criminal tights and pussy-mask, and thus
wholly unrecognizable as anyone but the vile Catwoman
she is. Faint smile flickers on her lips.
CATWOMAN
She's quite well, Mr. Wayne.
204 FEATURE BRUCE
BRUCE
I swear by heaven, if you've
harmed that girl...
(blue murder)
I'LL KILL YOU ALL! I'11 REND
YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!!
Bruce lurches off sofa despite his arm-bound state, charges
at crooks like a brave bull. As table goes crashing and-
crooks leap out oi way, Penguin appears on steep stairway
which descencés from roof door in one corner.
PENGUIN '
Faugh! Can't you control this
impulsive fellow??
Joker steps aside from renewed bull-like charge, sticks
out a foot and LAUGHS GAILY as Bruce takes neader into
nearest wall. Bruce comes up shouting:
BRUCE
WHERE IS SHE, CATWOMAN? SHOW
ME MISS KITKA OR I'1l1 WRECK
THIS PLACE WITE MY DYING
BREATH! !
A beat as Catwoman regards the enraged creature, then she
speaks in soft but commanding tone to the others:
CATWOMAN
Blindfold the captive. Lead him
down the labyrinthine path to...
Chamber Seventeen?
Cont.
108
KNOUITALLIO‘’.COb/
108
66
204 Cont.
205
206
207
208
Crooks gawk an instant, then leap into action. Joker
produces a prepared blindfold, whips it over, Bruce's head.
FEATURE CATWOMAN
She darts behind an intriguingly translucent screen, begins;
to rapidly change clothes.-
FEATURE BRUCE
as Riddler and Penguin seize his hands.
JOKER
Follow me to Miss Kitka!
PENGUIN
This way, sir...
RIDDLER
Do watch your step, sir...
French farce bit ensues as merry crooks lead stumbling,
blindfold Bruce in first-rate simulation of a labyrinthine
route: actually no further than adjoining room, the two
doors of which are passed through several times in varying
sequence and direction. CAMERA PANS OFF THIS to screen at
other end. "False Kitka" Smerges, ettired In last night's
negligee. She runs on catlike feet right past zig-zagging
Bruce and guides, ‘ducks into adjoining room.
INT. ADJOINING ROOM - DAY
Another cozy little parlor, this one with a big brass
bed. Boards are securely nailed over windows, blocking
view. Catwoman/Kitka comes running in with Joker. Latter
speedily.binds her wrists behind back, runs out again.
Kitka throws herself on bed, jerks:‘her head in a signal.
Penguin and Riddler pull Bruce into room.
RIDDLER
Two minutes! No longer!
Penguin snatches off Bruce's blindfold as Riddler gives
Bruce push toward bed, on which our hero crashes as two
crooks dart out and slam the door.
CLOSER ANGLE - BRUCE AND KITKA
BRUCE
(heartfelt)
Miss Kitka...
KITTY
Comrade Wayne...!
KENOUITALLION“.COb/
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 67
209 INT, MAIN HEADQUARTERS ROOM - DAY
RIDDLER
Quick, Penguin! Turn on the
Secret Microphone!
PENGUIN
Yo-ho! Quack-quack!}
JOKER
(thoughtful )
I don't entirely trust our
pretty Catwoman,, Many a plot
has foundered when some hardened
female criminal fell for a
civilian --~--
The nasty threesome gather close around electronic gizmo
at which Penguin is turning dials, BRUCE'S VOICE emerges
from a speaker:
BRUCE'S VOICE
I'll curse myself forever,
Miss Kitka, This nasty soup
we're in is largely of my own
brewing...
210 INT. ADJOINING ROOM - BRUCE AND KITKA
BRUCE
(going on)
If I hadn't let your beauty lull
me off guard...
Bruce stops, Kitka's eyes narrow slightly.
KITKA
"Off guard," Comrade?
BRUCE
There are some things I can't
disclose, Miss Kitka, but...
super-grin)
Suffice it to say, we're in the
hands of the underworld's most
vicious foursome. I fear we have
nothing to look forward to but...
death,
Kitka stares at his black visage, softens a bit.
Cont.
108
WOUNTALLIOE. COPS
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66
210 Cont.
KITKA
It may not be that black,
Comrade Wayne. Batman and Robin
are probably hot on our trail,
From something I chanced to
overhear, I think.,
KNOUITALLIO“. COM
67-A
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 68.
211 INT, HEADQUARTERS ROOM = GROUP AT SPEAKER
KITKA'S VOICE
(o.s.)
I think you and I are merely
bait for Batman. Once he's in
their trap, we'll be released.
PENGUIN
Drat the woman! She's spilling
the beans!
RIDDLER
One more slip and she'll be sorry!!
His face murderous, Riddler grabs a pistol from a drawer,
cocks it noisily.
ele INT. ADJOINING ROOM = BRUCE AND KITKA
BRUCE
A slender hope, Miss Kitka.
More slender than you can know.
KITKA
You don't think Batman will get
here? :
BRUCE
xX That.I.cannot say... Tell
me... :
(thinking)
Did you overhear any mention of
any...other prisoner of this
rotten gang?
Kitka, wide-eyed, shakes her head.
KITKA
“No I didn't, Mr. Wayne. Who on
earth could you mean?
213 INT. MAIN HEADQUARTERS ROOM - THE GROUP
A BONG-BONG CHIME SOUNDS.
RIDDLER
Commander Redhead. Ringing
for his tea...
As Joker heads from room, BRUCE'S VOICE comes from the speaker:
Cont.
108
KWOUNTALLICE. COG
213 Cont.
oy
BRUCE'S VOICE
O. 5s.)
Just a thought, Miss Kitka. It
doesn't matter. Speedy escape is
our only hope. A moment, while I
think...
214 INT. PHONEY STATEROOM - DAY |
Commander Redhead doesn't seem to have stirred since
we last saw him, still reclines on bunk with volume of
Dickens.
KNOCK on door.
REDHEAD
Come in, Steward!
Joker enters with tea-tray.
215 INT.
reacting,
JOKER
Your tea and crumpets, sir.
REDHEAD
Dashed invigorating, this sea
air. Gives me an appetite like
a horse! Any report when this
blasted fog's going to lift?
JOKER
Quite soon I think, sir. Oh, it
could be quite soon!
HEADQUARTERS ROOM - GROUP AT SPEAKER
as BRUCE'S VOICE suddenly jumps out:
BRUCE'S VOICE
o.S.)
I've got it! Why didn't I
think of it sooner??
216 INT. ADJOINING ROOM - BRUCE AND KITKA
108
KITKA
Of what, Comrade Wayne?
BRUCE
(excitedly)
Up my left sleeve! I have a tiny
radio transmitter strapped above
my elbow!
KITKA
What a curious device to carry...
Cont.
KNOUITALLIO“’.COb/
108
40
216 Cont.
BRUCE
Not at all, Miss Kitka. Capitalists
like myself, who carry sums of money,
often have such safety contrivances.
If I can just get at it somehow...
217 INT. MAIN HEADQUARTERS ROOM - GROUP AT SPEAKER
now including Joker, returned, as BRUCE'S VOICE continues
urgently:
BRUCE'S VOICE
(o.8.)
Quickly...let's wriggle around
back to back...maybe you can get
at it with your fingers...
Riddler leaps to his feet.
RIDDLER
Joker! Penguin! Bring him back!
FAST DISSOLVE TO:
KNOUITALLIO‘“. COb/
108
218
219
220
7.
INT. MAIN HEADQUARTERS ROOM - FEATURE BRUCE
blindfolded again, being rapidly led around stumbling by
crooks, in repeat of labyrinthine-route gimmick. Kitka
is already behind screen, completing quick-change back to
Catwoman role. They give Bruce final dizzying spin-about.
PENGUIN
Here we are, sir...
JOKER
Hello again!
Joker whips off blindfold, leaving Bruce facing a grinning
Riddler.
RIDDLER
Think you're pretty clever,
Mr. Wayne, don't you?
BRUCE
(spits it out)
Clever enough to outwit you, you
stupid thug!
RIDDLER
We'll see about that...
(soft)
Dear colleagues: let's see what's
strapped about this fellow's LEFT
ELBOW, shall we?
Chortling Joker whips off ties holding Bruce's arms, in
order to remove jacket and expose secret transmitter.
WHAMMMO!!! Bruce moves like uncoiled lightning, butts
Riddler over piece of furniture, swings around and clobbers
Penguin. During which:
BRUCE
Credulous creatures! I knew you'd
be listening in! I told that fish
story about a radio to MAKE YOU
UNTIE MY’ ARMS!
VARIOUS ANGLES - BIG FIGHT
Bruce has at the three criminals: now with full use of
his mighty freed fists. SUPER "POW'-TYPE TITLES here and
there.
FEATURE PENGUIN
He dives for a'microphone, seizes it and shouts:
Cont.
KNOUNTALLIO“.COhY
Te
220 Cont.
PENGUIN
Mr. Bluebeard! Mr. Morgan!
To arms! To---
Zowie! Bruce wallops him flippers over teakettle, spins
to have further at others.
2el FEATURE CATWOMAN
darting from behind screen, yelling:
CATWOMAN
You mollycoddles! GET HIM!!!!
222 INT. ADJOINING ROOM - BRUCE
crashing in, shouting:
BRUCE
Miss Kitka! WHERE ARE YOU?!?
Catwoman flies at him from behind. He throws her over his
shoulder onto the bed, spins around to face new attack by
Joker.
223 INT. MAIN HEADQUARTERS ROOM
Fists and unanchored objects fly with abandon. Much
destruction. Groggy Riddler gets hold of pistol, OPENS
FIRE. Bruce ducks shots nimbly, but this is getting serious:
even his fists can't fight firearms. He throws a chair at
Riddler, Knocks Joker down umpteenth time, kicks out a
window and DIVES THROUGH IT.
2eu EXT. FRONT OF BENBOW TAVERN - DAY
Bruce lands from second story, picks himself up like a
flash, whirls and looks back up at tavern window for an
instant. Then he whirls again, shouts down street:
BRUCE
Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!
BAT WHIP TO:
108
KWNOUITALLIO“’. COM
73
225 INT, WAYNE MANOR LIVING ROOM - DAY
Commissioner Gordon and Dick Grayson, sitting under pall
of gloom. SOUND of front door opening. They leap up,
turn, react as super-disheveled Bruce stumbles in.
GORDON
Great day in the morning!
DICK
Bruce!
BRUCE
Come on, Dick! I'm tack just
in time for that...important
demonstration at the fish
hatchery!
DICK
Right!
GORDON
But... Great Scott, Bruce! You
can't run off now! How did you
escape?? Where were you held?
BRUCE
I escaped with the aid of BATMAN!
GORDON
Thank heavens. The Caped Crusader,
returned to health!
BRUCE
Yes, Commissioner. And you'd
better return to headquarters,
he might wish to call you.
Good-by!
226 INT. WAYNE MANOR HALL - DAY
Bruce and Dick scamper for study, Gordon dashes out
front door.
227 INT. BRUCE'S STUDY - DAY
Bruce and Dick race in, activate secret switch, zoom
down Batpoles.
228 INT. BATCAVE
Batman and. Robin emerge, jump in Batmobile, fire it up
and vroocom up the ramp.
108
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb/
74
229 EXT. BATCAVE ENTRANCE - DAY
Batmobile hurtles: out, turns down road.
230 EXT, BATMOBILE COCKPIT ~ DAY (PROCESS)
BATMAN
Stop blaming yourself, Robin!
It was a perfectly natural and
sensitive impulse that made
you turn off that Batscanner!
ROBIN
Maybe so, but...
BATMAN
Forget it! Concentrate on the
task ahead! Headquarters United
Underworld...above Ye Olde Benbow
Tavern!
ROBIN
Are you sure it was right not
to tell the police?
F BATMAN
I couldn't risk it. They still
hald Miss Kitka. The crude methods
of a police-raid might jeopardize
that girl's life, plunge us all into
a ghestly Internetional Incident!
ROBIN
You're right, Batman!
(thinking)
What'll we do? Use our Batropes,
bust in via the roof?
BATMAN
correct!
(reaching forward)
Hold on, Robin! I'm cutting in
the Super-Speed Afterburner?
BAT WHIP TO:
231 INT. UNDERWORLD HEADQUARTERS - DAY
where Penguin temporarily is center of attention in
the shambles left by Bruce. As SHOT OPENS, he is
evidently finishing a speech:
Cont.
108
KRWOUITALLIO“. COb)
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66
231 Cont.
Riddler,
PENGUIN
And so, my fine finkish friends.
You've heard my astounding pro-
posal, What do you say?
Joker, Catwoman look at him a beat, then all
bend over chart laid out-’on table.
As Joker races out on his mission, Penguin spins and
RIDDLER
One thing's certain: our strike
cannot be postponed! We're at the
mercy of the Gotham River tides.
JOKER
Riddler's right, for once. It's
now or never, if we're to get
through this channel!
PENGUIN
Make up your minds! Batman will
never come here now,..but the
police will...any instant! Yes
or no to Penguin's princely
plan???
CATWOMAN
I say it's crazy, but... I
say let us try it!
RIDDLER
Go ahead, Penguin...
PENGUIN
Mr. Joker! Put a knockout drop
in Commander Redhead's tea! Take
him down to the submarine!
JOKER
Yo-ho!
calls through another door:
PENGUIN
Mr. Quetch! Step lively with
your Combat Party!
232 NEW ANGLE
75
Quetch and FOUR SAILORS race in, snap to attention and
bellow in lusty unison:
__ NOUITALLIOE. COM
Cont.
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 76
232. Cont.
233
234
235
SAILORS
Yo-ho-ho, sir!
FEATURE PENGUIN
He pulls open a closet, lugs out a strange device. It looks
like a converted canister vacuum cleaner, but more complex
and intriguing-looking. Lettering on it. says:
"SCHLEPPES DISTILLERY - TOTAL DEHYDRATOR"
PENGUIN
Quackkk...Quackkk... Commander Redhead's
Piece de no-Resistance..... An
Instant Whiskey maker!
RIDDLER
(gleefully)
Waiting for us to put it to more
universal use. ;
PENGUIN
Help me... Take the back-pack...
RIDDLER
I've got it!
Riddler slips the elaborate device onto his back by shoulder-
straps, turns a switch. WHINNING SOUND heard, combined
with ominous very rapid GLUG-GLUG-GLUG of a sucker. Penguin
turns projector-nozzle gizmo towards Quetch and party.
PENGUIN
Don't be afraid. You'll feel
nothing. I am merely going to
temporarily extract EVERY BIT OF
MOISTURE from your bodies!
Penguin triggers gun, a NOISY RAY leaps out.
QUETCH AND' PARTY - SPECIAL EFFECT
As RAY plays over them, the five men SHIMMER CRAZILY and
SUDDENLY TOTALLY DISAPPEAR.
FEATURE PENGUIN
He lowers ray gun, races over to where the fellows stood,
looks down. . :
PENGUIN
Delightful!
KNOUITALLIO“E.COhY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 TT
236 HIS P.0.V. - THE FLOOR
where Quetch and Sailors stood, there are now FIVE LITTLE
MOUNDS OF COLORED DUST.
RIDDLER
0.8.)
Totally dehydrated...
237 BACK TO SCENE
PENGUIN
Catwoman. Fetch a dustpan. Place
each one of them very earefully in
a separate vial!
CATWOMAN
Right!
Catwoman scuttles to comply.
PENGUIN
Then down to the submarine, all of
you! I'll set a demolition charge
to welcome the police!
~ RIDDLER
Where do we meet?
PENGUIN
‘UNITED WORLD BUILDING on Gotham
East River. Thirty-ninth floor,
I'll be waiting at the elevator!
In precisely one hour...
238 FEATURE CATWOMAN
She hurries INTO SHOT again, holding FIVE LITTLE GLASS VIALS
and a dustpan. She starts to brush up the dust.
PENGUIN
Mere criminal genius, Catwoman!
(leering at”
the vials)
Who but a genius could devise such
a plan? -To trick Batman and Robin
into inviting ME into the Batcave...
with five dehydrated death-dealing
pirates at my command. Quack-quack!
BAT WHIP TO:
108
ie KNOUNTALLIOE. COPS
78
239 EXT. REAR OF BENBOW TAVERN - DAY
Batmobile whines up fast, brakes to a stop NEAR CAMERA,
Robin looks up over windshield, reacting.
ROBIN
Holy cats-and-dogs...
240 EXT. TAVERN ROOF - THEIR P.0.V; - DAY
Penguin's MONSTER UMBRELLA is still set up amid gables and
chimneys, held by its guy wires.
2u1 BACK TO BATMAN AND ROBIN
ROBIN
Holy mud-puddle... I smell a
Penguin in this woodpile:
BATMAN
Let's cook the foul bird's goose,
Robin. Some other geese too.
Out Batarang and Batrope: We'll
go up the end wall!
They move swiftly to end wall of tavern, Batman cocks arm
and throws up Batarang.
eke CLOSE SHOT - CHIMNEY - DAY
Batarang and trailing line whips around it.
243 BACK TO BATMAN. AND ROBIN
They yank tight the Batrope, start up into:
eu EXT. BATCLIMB EFFECT - DAY
ROBIN
Amazing someone hasn't already
reported that Giant Umbrella to
the police, Batman,
BATMAN
It's a low neighborhood. Full of
rum-pots. They're used to curious
sights which they attribute to
alcoholic delusions.
ROBIN
Gosh. Drink is sure a filthy thing,
isn't it? I'd rather be dead than...
unable to trust my own eyes!
108
KWOUITALLIO‘“. COb)
108
aks
O47
248
249
79.
EXT, TAVERN ROOF - DAY
Batman and Robin come up over gutter, gain the roof.
ROBIN
Think we ought to check out
that umbrella?
BATMAN
Later! Our first chore is to
crash in and rescue Miss Kitka!
ROBIN
Look...There's a skylight...
CLOSER ANGLE - NEAR SKYLIGHT
which is under spread of great umbrella. Batman and
Robin creep INTO SHOT, crouch down to have a peek.
BATMAN
(whisper)
All right, now... Ready with
Super-Blinding Batpellets...
We'll crash this in and-----
He breaks off abruptly, reacting.
INT. U.U. HEADQUARTERS - DOWN SHOT - ZOOMING
down from SKYLIGHT P.O.V. to BIG CLOSEUP of demolition
charge, LABELED as such in stenciled letters. It's in
form of old-style anarchist's bomb but vastly bigger, a
globe about three feet in diameter. A fuse is BURNING
MERRILY down towards hole.
TIGHT REACTION SHOT ~ BATMAN
BATMAN
Robin!! Away!! DOWN THE BATROPE}
WIDER ANGLE
Robin jumps up instantly, dashes for edge of roof and
Batrope. He turns, sees Batman wrenching at skylight.
ROBIN
Batman!!! Come oni?!
No reply. Batman hurls skylight frame over shoulder,
JUMPS DOWN through opening.
KRNOUITALLIO“.COb)
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250
251
252
253
254
255
256
257
80
INT. U.U. HEADQUARTERS ~- BATMAN’
lands from skylight, dashes to the bomb. Just as he
snatches at it, BURNING PART of fuse vanishes INSIDE BOMB,
Batman grabs up the huge globe as if it were a toy
balloon, runs to window and raises his arms to throw out
the infernal machine. He freezes.
EXT, COURTYARD - BATMAN'S P,O.V.
There are FOUR or FIVE LITTLE CHILDREN there, gaily chanting
and playing hopscotch or whatever.
BACK TO ROOM - BATMAN
Carrying bomb, which emits SPUTTERING SPARKS and SMOKE
from fuse-nole, Batman races to closed exit door, crashes
it open with his shoulder.
INT, TAVERN DOWNSTAIRS - SHOOTING UP - DAY
over same DISORDERLY ROISTERERS who packed the joint
before, as Batman crashes into view at top of winding
stairway in corner. He bellows at the mob:
BATMAN
Quick! Everyone! FLEE FOR YOUR
LIVES! INTO THE STREET!
SHRIEKS and pell-mell dash for swinging doors, as Batman
himself vaults stairway railing and follows.
EXT. FRONT OF TAVERN - FULL SHOT - DAY
SAILORS and SLEAZY FEMMES come piling out, YELLING, in a
monster panic. Batman, still holding sputtering bomb,
herds the last of them out, then races through the pack
down the street TOWARD CAMERA. He again lifts bomb to
hurl it, freezes again.
EXT. STREET - OVER BATMAN'S: SHOULDER
SEVERAL NUNS are walking towards him. Sisters of Mercy,
obviously, bent on good works in this repulsive district.
NEW ANGLE - BATMAN
Can't throw bomb away there either, obviously. He turns and
runs around a nearby intersection. He lifts bomb, then
stops IN FRONT OF CAMERA and freezes yet again.
BATMAN'S P.O.V. - OTHER STREET SECTION
There's a SALVATION ARMY TRIO on the curb, puffing and
pounding on their instruments. Some days, it's darn hard
to get rid of a bomb.
WOUNTALLIOE CODY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 81
258 BACK TO BATMAN AND BOMB
A LOW WHISTLE begins INSIDE BOMB, RISING in pitch. More
VIGOROUS SMOKE comes from bomb, As WHINE GETS VERY HIGH,
Batman turns again and runs madly down an alleyway
TOWARDS THE HARBOR, He sprints OUT OF FRAME, One-~-second
interval, no more, then there's a really TERRIFIC EXPLOSION,
Smoke and HUGE WATERSPOUT from harbor.
259 EXT, SEAWALL AT EDGE OF HARBOR - DAY
Robin comes racing INTO SHOT, peers with horror into smoke
and roiled water.
RCBIN
Batman!! BATMAN!3!
Batman appears, rising from behind a low piece of wall at
right angles to main seawall, dusting himself off
complacently.
x BATMAN
Whew. Fortunate there was a seawall
to protect me. :
ROBIN
(awed)
Holy strait jacket, Batman!
You risked your life to save
that...riff-raff in the bar!
BATMAN
They may be drinkers, Robin.
But they're also human beings, and
might still be salvaged, I had to
do it.
(bitterly)
And now we've lost the trail of
that angelic Miss Kitka! Stranded
without a clue!
No sooner uttered than we hear a BRITISH-ACCENTED VOICE o.s.
VOICE
I say, could you chaps direct
me to a policeman?
Batman and Robin spin around, freeze in amazement.
260 WHAT THEY SEE
Fellow in front of them wears a deerstalker hat and
Inverness cape, has a RED BEARD and MOUSTACHE: but aside
Cont.
108
KNOUNTALLIO“.COMY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 83
260 Cont.
from that, is absolute spit-and-image of THE PENGUIN!
Nose, monocle, cigarette-holder, rolled umbrella, the
whole bit. He beams at them, holds out a hand.
PENGUIN
(Redhead accent)
Commander Redhead's the name.
Schlepp's Whisky, y'know. I've
just escaped from some ruffians
in a submarine.
261 BATMAN AND ROBIN
They gape an instant, then turn and put their heads
together for quick whispered confab.
ROBIN -
x Holy costume-party! That's THE
PENGUIN!
BATMAN
Obviously!
ROBIN
What's his game, I wonder??
262 WIDER ANGLE -
as they break up confab, and Batman snaps:
BATMAN
What's your game...Penguin??
PENGUIN
Penguin? My name's Redhead,
dear boy.
BATMAN
Your fingerprints will settle that
hash, Penguin. We'll check them
against our Mobile Anti-Crime File
in the Batmobile. Let's see your
hands...
Penguin affably extends hands, palms up.
ROBIN
Gosh! Looks like...plastic-
coated fingertips!
Cont.
108
KRNOUITALLIO“. CObd
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/13/66
262, Cont.
PENGUIN
I scorched myself pressing a waistcoat.
I believe the attending surgeon
did use plastic...
ROBIN
It looks bad, Batman. This brassy
bird has us buffaloed.
BATMAN
Not quite. There's one mode of
identification which no criminal
can evade...
PENGUIN
(inserting himself)
Retinal Eye-Patterns?
BATMAN
(to Robin)
‘He's right, Robin! The pattern of the
myriad, tiny blood vessels on the
retina of the eye...as individual
as a fingerprint!
PENGUIN
Don't you have a complete Anti-
Criminal Eye-Pattern Master File
in your fabutous Batecave? Why
don't you take me there?
ROBIN
You'd be willing to submit yourself
to a test?
PENGUIN
(changes tone)
Why not!, Could be an. amusing
experience,. don't y'know.
BATMAN
Get ore to catch. him, Robin.
I'll give him the Batgas.
PENGUIN
Eh?? What?? Batgas???
Cont.
KNOUNTALLIOE.COhd
83
108
262 Cont.1
BATMAN
A harmless anaesthetic. To prevent
you from seeing the entrance to the
Batcave}
ROBIN
If anyone knew that, he could
pierce the secret of our True
Identities!
Batman has aerosol can of Batgas from Utility Belt.
Spwifft
face.
BATMAN
Ready...Commander??
PENGUIN
What deuced strange customs
you colonials have: I'm ready.
Batman lets go shot of Batgas into Penguin's
The creature slumps into Robin's arms, instantly
unconscious. Batman heaves Penguin up over his shoulder
like proverbial sack of meal.
BATMAN
Come on. To the Batmobile!
This could be the break we've
been iooking for!
BAT WHIP TO:
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb)
263
264
265
266
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 85
INT. BATCAVE
Batmobile comes down ramp, stops on turntable.
Penguin/Redhead is wedged into front seat between
Dynamic Duo, still out cold.
CLOSER ANGLE
ROBIN
(looking at Penguin)
He's the Penguin all right! I
wonder why he let us bring him
here.
BATMAN
We'll soon find out.
ROBIN
I'll set up the Anti-Crime
Eye-Checker!
BATMAN
; (after him)
Stay on the alert, Robin!
After I give him this Batwake,
we must be ready for anything.
Robin runs over to prepare machine. Batman comes around
to snoozing Penguin with spray-can of BATWAKE, lifts
Slumped head and SHOOTS A WHIFF into it. Penguin wakes
instantly, blinks.
PENGUIN'S P.O.V. - WIDE PANNING SHOT
over fabulous Baetcave’and its blinking gimmickry.
PENGUIN
(o.s. drawl)
Extraordin'ry,..Upon my soul,
simply extraordin'ry... Might
I have a glass of water?
FEATURE PENGUIN
PENGUIN
(going on)
Your Batgas has left me with a
somewhat...parched sensation.
BATMAN
(pointing)
Over there. The Drinking Water
Dispenser is clearly marked.
Cont.
KNOUNTALLIO“E.COhY
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/60 86
266 Cont.
267
268
269
270
108
PENGUIN
Ah. Yes. I see it...
NEW ANGLE
featuring DRINKING WATER DISPENSER, which indeed is
clearly marked. ‘In addition to main nameplate, there are
further controls prominently labeled: "SALINITY INDEX,"
“ANTI-DECAY FLUORIDES," "TEMPERATURE," "pH VALUE" and
"RATE OF FLOW.” Penguin ambles up to this ne-plus-ultra
of drinking fountains, inspects it approvingly, then has
a quick look back over his shoulder. There is a prominent
main control lever that can be moved one direction to
"Normal Water" and the other direction to "Heavy Water".
It is set at "Heavy Water."
HIS P.O.V. - BATMAN
across Batcave, standing there and watching him.
BATMAN
Help yourselif...Commander.
Slake your thirst! You'll have
worse than a dry throat when
we're through with you!
BACK TO PENGUIN
PENGUIN
Perhaps... Perhaps...
Penguin turns back to Batman to block off his view, feigns
taking a long drink of water as his hands go into swift
action. CAMBRA MOVES IN CLOSE. From fold of his cape,
Penguin whips @ clip holding FIVE LITTLE GLASS VIALS OF
COLORED DUST. Stuck through cork of each is a rubber
tube, leading to a connection where all tube-branches join,
He jams main end of gadget over water spout of fountain.
FEATURE ROBIN
at labeled ANTI-CRIME EYE-CHECKER, a complicated
optometrist's nightmare.
ROBIN
All set, Batman!
BATMAN
Come on, Penguin! Time to rip
off your false feathers!
KNOUITALLIO“E.COhY
108
271
eve
273
274
275
276-
279
87
FEATURE PENGUIN
PENGUIN
Coming, my dear Batman! Coming
at once!
Penguin gives "RATE OF FLOW" control a twist, hurries
away PAST CAMERA.
CLOSE SHOT - THE FIVE VIALS - SPECIAL EFFECT
Water pours in under pressure, hits the dust inside.
Lo! The vials pop, dust is instantaneously reconstvti-
tuted into MR, QUETCH and FOUR SAILORS of piratical
Combat Party.
REACTION SHOT - BATMAN AND ROBIN
spinning et the SFWOOOOF! SOUND which accompanies
re-hydration, goggling.
ROBIN
Holy hallucination...
BATMAN
I wish it were, Robin! It's not!
It's five de-hydrated pirates...
RE-HYDRATED!
MR, QUETCH AND CREW
QUETCH
At ‘em, me hearties! Shiver ‘em
from stem to stern!
SAILORS
(unison)
Yo-ho-ho!
Fivesome dashes across at Dynamic Duo.
WIDE ANGLE - FIGHT - WITH SPECIAL EFFECT
Batman and Robin dash across at Quetch and Company, as
Penguin scurries to safe roost on Atomic Pile ladder.
Fight is brief and astonishing. Batman gives one wallop
to leader, who instantly POPS LIKE A BALLOON AND VANISHES.
As Robin hits the next, DITTO EFFECT. Then the remaining
trio bump into each other in confusion. POP-POP-POP! THEY
VANISH TOO! Accompanying this is WEIRD THEREMIN SOUND like
a MILLION HARP STRINGS SNAPPING.
QUT
KNOUITALLIO‘“. COb)
108
280
281
282
283
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 88
REACTION SHOT ~ PENGUIN
He can't believe his eyes, makes:.a choked.sound:
PENGUIN
Faugn....
REACTION SHOT - ROBIN
ROBIN
Holy rabbit-in-the-hat... ‘The
pirates! They're all gone!
Popped like balloons!
HIGH SHOT
It is true. No sign of Quetch and Company, just Batman and
Robin and Penguin perched on pile.
NEW ANGLE - FEATURE BATMAN
ROBIN
What happened, Batman???
BATMAN
It's obvious.
(sniffs)
Smell that curious residue in
the air?
ROBIN
(sniffs).
Smells like...Deuterium,
Type Gamma-3...
BATMAN
Whoever dehydrated those pirates could
not forsee their accidental rehydration
the HEAVY WATER we employ for recharging
our Atomic Pile.
ROBIN
Holy see-saw! Which naturally
left:them in a HIGHLY UNSTABLE
condition!
BATMAN
You saw it yourself. The
slightest impact was: sufficient
to reduce them instantly to
ANTI-MATTER.
Cont.
_ [NOUTTALLICE, CObd
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 &9
283 Cont.
ROBIN
(awed)
Anti-Matter... Then they won't
be coming back...
BATMAN
No, Robin. Not in this universe.
Let it be' an object lesson in |
the danger of tampering ‘with
the Laws of Nature...
He trails off, he and Robin both look up. CAMERA PANS
to THEIR P.O.V.:: Penguin on the ladder, a very unhappy-
looking bird.
. 284 BATMAN AND ROBIN
Robin ‘reaches for Batarang, snatches it out. Batman
puts out a restraining hand, speaks up toward Penguin
without slightest trace of irony ‘this time:
BATMAN
_My apologies, Commander Redhead.
It's clear I've doné you a cruel
injustice.
ROBIN
2222?
285 PENGUIN
who looks equally flabbergasted at that.
PENGUIN
You.. have???
286 FEATURE BATMAN
BATMAN
xX You were duped, brain washed. The
criminals planted those Dehydrated Thugs
on your person. You were obviously under
the influence of posthypnotic suggestion
when you rehydrated them.
(gravely)
Come on down, Commander. I'il1 give
you another whiff of Batgas, we'll
811 return to the city.
BAT WHIP TO:
108
WOUNTALLIOE CODY
108
287
288
289
90
EXT. BATMOBILE COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
Penguin/Redhead, anaesthetized, is wedged between -
Batman and Robin as Batmobile speeds against RURAL
PROCESS B.G.
ROBIN
Are you sure you...didn't hurt
your head in that fight, Batman?
BATMAN
Perfectly. Swallow this pill...
Batman fishes a pill from Utility Belt BELOW SHOT, hands
it to Robin. Robin dutifully gulps it down. Batman
reaches down, produces aerosol~can,
BATMAN
(going on)
Now then, just as we round this
curve... Give our friend a whiff
of Batwake...
Batmobile rounds curve. Robin sends SPRAY into Penguin's
face. Penguin ewakes, Batman simultaneously looks down
at instruments and reaches for switches.
ROBIN
What's wrong, Batman?
BATMAN
Manifold Pressure dropving...
I think we'd better stop and
check it...
EXT. ROAD = DAY
Batmobile coasts INTO SHOT and stops on shoulder NEAR
CAMERA. In b.g. is a SMALLISH SHED with big writing on
it: "GOTHAM CITY PUBLIC WORKS DEPT." Batman speaks to
Penguin, starting to get out:
BATMAN
Sorry, Commander. Won't be a
minutes.
CLOSER SHOT - PENGUIN
PENGUIN
Oh yes, you will}
Crafty bird moves like lightning, raises his rolled
umbrella, squeezes handle. Jet of COLORED GAS SFURTS
OUT. Batman clutches at his throat, tumbles insensible
into road,
Cont.
KRNOUITALLIO“. COb)
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 ‘91
289 Cont.
290
2gl
292
ROBIN
Hey!!!
Pwifff! Robin, rising in seat, gets another SPURT OF GAS,
tumbles’ out of cockpit on the other side.
PENGUIN
Yo-ho! Quack-quack! Away we go
in the BIRDMOBILE!
Penguin slips over into driver's seat, hits throttle.
EXT, ROAD - BATMOBILE
It zooms away in a cloud of UNDERCRANKED dust, vanishes
around nearby bend. CAMERA PANS BACK FAST to Batman and
Robin, sprawled. They sit up abruptly, jump to their feet.
_BATMAN
Okay, Robin?
ROBIN
Sure am, Batman! Thenks to
that ANTI-PENGUIN-GAS PILL!
BATMAN
The ‘pompous fool... He's played
right into our hands! - Quick now!
Via BATCYCLE to the BATCOPTER!
We'll track him to the gang's new
hideout!
Batman and Robin dash to that little shed beside: the road,
throw open end door and run inside. Powerful VROOMING
ENGINE SOUND is heard. Scarcely a moment later, BATCYCLE
roars out, Batman over the handlebars, Robin holding ‘on
for dear life in the sidecar.
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. AIRPORT - BATCOPTER IN F.G. - DAY
It's all ready for take off, rotors idling. Batcycle
comes lickety-split across the tarmac. Robin separates
his “goecar" from the side car and Batman draws up at
one side of the Batcopter - Robin at the other. They
leap out and climb aboard.
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. FLYING BATCOPTER - DAY
ESTABLISHING it in flight once more.
KNOUNTALLIO“E.COhY
108
293
294
295
INT, BATCOPTER - DAY (PROCESS)
where Robin is bent over radar-like gadget.
ROBIN
Batscanner, tracking stolen
Batmobile perfectly...
BATMAN
I'll keep an eve on that. You
man the Batphone, activate the
Remote Control Intercontinental
Relay Link in the Batcave, Get
me Commander Redhead's office...
London, England
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. SUBMERGED SUBMARINE (STOCK)
92
The deadly craft noses cautiously along amidst various
NATURAL UNDERWATER OBSTACLES.
INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM
Catwoman, Riddler, Joker, also Bluebeard and Morgan
manning assorted controls. LOUD PONGING of SONAR ana
so on, atmosphere highly tense.
JOKER
Port, two degrees, then steady
as she goes]
MORGAN
Aft diving-planes, ease back!
CATWOMAN
(at planes)
Easing back... Miaow!
RIDDLER
We're almost there! Take the con,
Joker!
Riddler LAUGHS EXCITEDLY, leaves his wheel and starts
quickly aft.
JOKER
Hey! Riddler! Where are you
going??
RIDDLER
To fire off some more riddling
clues, of course!
ERWOUITALLION“. COb)
Cont.
93
295 Cont.
Catwoman leaves planes, dashes after Riddler and grabs him,
CATWOMAN
Youtre mad, Riddler! Penguin's
finished Batman by nowl
RIDDLER
That waddling mountebank of a
bird! He couldn't finish a bag
of popcorn!
Joker runs over tc help restrain Riddler.
JOKER
So sav Penguin failed! All the
MORE REASON not to hand them
your crazy clues]
RIDDLER
But I must, I must! Outwitting
Batman is my sole delight, my
joy, my heavenron-earth, my very
paradise, my---
os LAUGHING CRAZILY, he tries to break from their grip.
296 EXT. SUBMERGED SUBMARINE - MINIATURE
It bumps heavily into some submerged object.
297 INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM
It TILTS and SHAKES, the LIGHTS FLICKER.
JOKER
BACK TO THE CONTROLS!11
As careening Joker and Catwoman race back to diving
planes, etc., Riddler darts back into?
298 INT. SUB MISSILE ROOM
Riddler slams watertight door, dogs it closed. He
turns, runs to Missile Guidance console, begins to
twist knobs like crazy.
BAT WHIP TO:
108
KNOUNTALLIO’.COpY
O4.
299 EXT, FLYING BATCOPTER ~ DAY
300 INT, BATCOPTER COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
ROBIN
Stolen Batmobile turning! Now
heading up Gotham River Drive}
Batman works controls.
BATMAN
Roger. We'll cut across the
harbor! What word on our call
to London?
Robin picks up Batphone. SOUND of HARMONIC TONES,
ROBIN
Automatic Relay still searching
for a circuit, Batman...
301 INT. SUB MISSILE ROOM
Riddler makes last setting, punches FIRE BUTTON.
302 EXT, POLARIS MISSILE LAUNCHING ~ DAY (STOCK)
A missile breaks the surface, roars skyward.
303 INT. BATCOPTER COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
Robin, looking down while he holds Batphone, lets out a
frantic shout:
ROBIN
BATMAN]! GUIDED MISSILE?!
BATMAN
Hold tight, Robin! This may be
trickyiit
Batman leans on controls. Batcopter cockpit tilts and
heaves and does mad gyrations. Then there's a terrific
ROARING WHOOSHING SOUND and HUGE MISSILE FLASHES BY GOING
UPWARD ON PROCESS SCREEN. A cloud of SMOKE pours into the
cockpit.
BATMAN
Damage ??
ROBIN
Tail rotor burned of fii!
Cont.
108
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108
95
303 Cont.
A-303
304
305
BATMAN
Brace yourself! We're going down}!
I fear this COULD BE THE END!!
Robin braces himself desperately, Batman fights bucking
controls. Not to much avail, judging from STOMACH-TURNING
MADNESS ON PROCESS SCREEN. Buildings and approaching grouna
flash by, now right side up, now upside down, ever CLOSER,
and as BLURRY GROUND literally LEAPS AT US THROUGH WINDSHIELD:
INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM ~ FEATURE RIDDLER
his eye glued to periscope as he cries in paranoid glee:
IDDLER
I got them! I got them! After all
these years... SATMAN AND ROBIN KILLED
BY A CRIMINAL CONUNDRUM!
EXT. STREET - DAY
Batcopter is perched at crazy angle atop back of a HUGE FLAT-
BED TRUCK. Truck is loaded with about a ton of FOAM RUBBER,
Sign on side of truck explains: "GOTHAM CITY FOAM RUBBER CO.,
INC." Batcopter should look as cracked up as possible: tail
rotor gone, some glass smashed, SMOKE POURING out. As
CAMERA MOVES IN, Batman and Robin clamber out of Batcopter.
ROBIN
Holy horse-shoe! Some luck, landing
on a foam-rubber delivery truck:
BATMAN
Yes, Robin. I'd say the odds against
1t would make even the most reckless
gambler cringe. True, I did think I'd
Spotted it from the corner of my eye, but...
He breaks off as there's a heavy dull BOOOM! high overhead.
They both react, look up.
ROBIN
That crazy missile! It wrote two more
riddles before it blew up!
EXT. SKYWRITING IN SKY
As Robin said: two more wreathily-writ riddles, which Batman
reads aloud:
BATMAN
(o.s.)
"What goes up white and comes down
yellow and white?"
ROBIN
(o.s.)
An EGG}
KNOUITALLIO“.COb/
96
305 Cont.
BATMAN
0.8.)
"How do you divide seventeen
apples among sixteen people?"
ROBIN
(o.s. -
Make APPLESAUCE!
306 BACK TO VACANT LOT - BATMAN AND ROBIN
BATMAN
An EGG and APPLESAUCE... Not
a@ common combination...
A penetrating BEE-BEEP-BEEP SOUND behind them. They turn.
ROBIN
The Batphone beep!
BATMAN
Sturdy device. Still working.
Must be my call to London....
Batman reaches through SMOKE into cockpit of Batcopter,
comes up with Batphone receiver. Into phone, as CAMERA
MOVES IN on him:
BATMAN
Hello?
Very BRITISH SECRETARY'S VOICE comes from earpiece:
SECRETARY'S VOICE
Schlepp's Whisky, Limited.
Commander Redhead's office...
BATMAN
This is Batman calling from
Gotham City, U.S.A.! A matter
of the greatest urgency! WHAT
WAS COMMANDER REDHEAD'S MISSION
IN THIS COUNTRY??
SECRETARY'S VOICE
Marketing a new device, actually.
One to dehydrate our whisky...
remove all the water from it,
y'know...making it a powder
which --
Cont.
108
KRWOUITALLION“. COb)
REVISED -' "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 o7
306 Cont.
BATMAN
‘(cuts in) |
Thank you, madam! That's all I
need to know! Good-bye!
Batman chucks phone receiver back into Batcopter, smashes
a fist into open palm.
BATMAN
Those strange riddles! I see
their meaning!
ROBIN
What, Batman???
BATMAN
x Apples into APPLESAUCE...A unification
into one smooth mixture. An
EGG... Nature's perfect container.
The container of all our hopes for
the future.
ROBIN
x A unification in a container of hone?
The UNITED WORLD organization!
BATMAN
Precisely, Robin! There's a
special meeting of the
Security Council today, and if
what I fear is true...
ROBIN
Wow! Let's commandeer a taxi!
turns, shouts)
Taxi! Taxi!
BATMAN
No, Robin! Not at this time of
day! Luckily, we're in tip-top
condition... It'll be faster if
we run! ©
As they slide.down haystack and run like hell PAST CAMERA:
BAT WHIP TO:
307 INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM
Joker and Catwoman at diving planes, etc., Riddler at
periscope calling out orders:
108 Cont °
LK NOUNTALLIOE.CODS
108
98
307 Cont.
308
309
3210
311
RIDDLER
Steady...Steady... Up one...
Starboard two... We're passing
into the grotto now!
BLUEBEARD
(calls}
Depth, half-a-fethom!
RIDDLER
Hold her... Engines, dead slow
astern!
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - DAY
Batman's judgment was right: this section of street is a
solid jam of HORN-BLOWING TAXIS. Batman and Robin sprint
INTO SHOT, race easily through bogged vehicles.
BAT WHIP TO:
INT. SUBMARINE CAVE - GLOCMISH DAY
including SUB CONNING TOWER and section of DECK AWASH, up
against natural quai. Conning tower hatch flies open,
Riddler, Catwoman and Joker leap nimbly to the quai.
Catwoman carries her BLACK CAT. Strapped to Joker's back
is the TOTAL DEHYDRATOR.
FEATURE A DOOR IN ROCK
Sign on it says: "THIS DOOR NOT IN USE! NO ENTRY!"
Riddler comes up, leading others.
RIDDLER
An. Good. Just as the blueprints
said... An abandoned construction
elevator!
CATWOMAN
(to cat)
Hecate! Sniff out the weak spot!
She throws black cat towards door.
CLOSE SHOT - CAT AT DOOR
It ranges briefly, suddenly arches its back and HISSES
LOUDLY.
KNOUITALLIO‘“.COb/
108
312
313
314
315
316
99
WIDER ANGLE
As Catwoman grabs up her beast, Riddler slaps a blob of
plastic explosive on spot the cat indicated.
JOKER
I hope Penguin's waiting...
RIDDLER
Who needs him? Stand back!
Trio flatten themselves back against rock. KER-BLOOOM!
Plastic charge EXPLODES with much SMOKE.
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. CITY STREET - BATMAN AND ROBIN - DAY
running with graceful strides past mcre HONKING traffic
bound cars.
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. UNITED WORLD BUIIDING - DAY (STOCK)
It looks amazingly like United Nations Building. Flags
of many nations flutter as CAMERA MOVES UP facade of
gleaming slab-like tower.
INT. UNITED WORLD CORRIDOR ~ DAY
Penguin, now sans Redhead disguise, comes INTO SHOT,
passes WITH CAMERA through a pair of swinging doors bear-
ing sign: "SECURITY COUNCIL IN SESSION. NO ADMITTANCE!"
Ahead of him, SEVERAL UNIFORMED GUARDS are ranged at
intervals. They turn.
GUARD
Hey! Can't you read??
PENGUIN
It's a fine day for Penguins!
Looks like rain!
Penguin snaps open ubiquitous umbrella, gives it ea SPIN
and a THROW.
LONG SHOT - TOWARD PENGUIN - SPECIAL EFFECT
The umbrella comes SPINNING DOWN CORRIDOR TOWARD THE
CAMERA, leaving a trail of VAPOR in its wake. As the
FLYING UMBRELLA passes each guard, he clutches at his
throat and falls insensible.
KNOUTTALLIO‘’. COb/
108
317
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 10D.
KEW ANGLE - PENGUIN
He hurries down corridor to closed elevator doors.
Prominent stenciling on them says: “ABANDONED ELEVATOR!
NOT IN USE!" Penguin whips a little key from pocket,
inserts it in slot under elevator buttons, turns it.
Elevator door slides open, revealing Joker, Riddler and
Catwoman inside.
PENGUIN
Yo-ho! We meet as planned. Hold
your breath as you cross the
hall! There are still lingering
traces of my fine filtered
PENGUIN GAS!
BAT WHIP TO:
KNOUNTALLSOE COPY
108
318
319
320
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66 101
EXT. CITY STREET - TRUCKING ‘SHOT - DAY
Batman and Robin, running side by side, now panting a bit.
ROBIN .
Holy Marathon... I'm getting a
stitch, Batman!
BARMAN
Let's hope it's a STITCH IN TIME,
Robin,..that saves nine...the nine
members of the United World Security Council!
BAT WHIP TO:
INT. SECURITY COUNCIL ROOM - DAY
The NINE MEMBERS of the Security Council are in a group,
heavily engaged in their ceaseless search for peace. The
word “engaged" is used advisedly. They are having a
MONSTER HASSLE, accompanied by INCOHERENT SHOUTING in NINE
LANGUAGES. Some of them are wrestling, others pull at
each others' lapels, one stocky member is furiously beating
with a shoe on big council table. The only dialog we can
catch is from an ENGLISH SPEAKING delegate NEAR CAMERA, but
all languages should be identifiable to those who understand
them and all basically shouting.
DELEGATE
My country wishes PEACE, do you
hear me?? Nothing whatsoever but
PEACE!!!
(Note: The Nations must be identified and the appropriate
translations made).
Doors at end of room are thrown open abruptly, in bound
Joker, Penguin, Riddler, Catwoman. Nobody pays slightest
heed to them in the confusion,
CLOSER ANGLE - CROOKS - SPECIAL EFFECT
PENGUIN
(musing) .
Dear me... Our poor United World,
in microcosm...
JOKER
I'm afraid they'll find our humor,
very very DRY!
Riddler grabs RAY PROJECTOR attached by a cord to Joker's
back-pack, aims it TOWARD CAMERA and pulls the trigger.
CONCENTRIC MULTI-COLORED RINGS OF WAVE-ENERGY leap out from
the muzzle of projector. -Accompanying this 1s a SPECIAL
SOUND EFFECT too: a POLYLINGUAL BABEL OF CURSES which
rapidly RISE IN PITCH to an insane PIPSQUEAK YIPPING and
then abruptly CEASE.
KNOUNTALLIO“E. COM)
3el
322
323
324
108
102
OVERHEAD SHOT - DOWN AT COUNCIL ROOM FLOOR
CAMERA MOVES AROUND. Where each Council Member was last
seen is now a LITTLE MOUND OF DUST, nothing more. The
mounds are different sizes and different colors, matching
their human prototypes.
NORMAL ANGLE - THE CROOKS
CATWOMAN
Quickly, now! Each one in a
separate vial! And boys...let's
not anybody SNEEZE!
BAT WHIP TO:
INT, UNITED WORLD LOBBY - DAY
Batman and Robin come panting in, run up to the MAIN
RECEPTION DESK.
BATMAN
Emergency! Seal this building!
ROBIN
And TURN OFF THE VENTILATING SYSTEM!
BATMAN
Robin's right! The Security Council
MAY HAVE BEEN DEHYDRATED!
(to Robin)
Come on! Upstairs!
BAT WHIP TO:
INT. UNITED WORLD CORRIDOR - DAY
Just as the four super-crooks scurry from Security Council
room and head catty-corner across corridor for their
elevator, swinging doors ahead fly open and Batman and Robin
dash in. A frozen instant of surprise as crooks and crime
fignters see each other.
BATMAN AND ROBIN
BATMAN
Surrender, you criminals!
ROBIN
The United Underworld is through!
BATMAN
One false move and we hurl our
Batarangs!
THE CROOKS - FEATURE CATWOMAN
CATWOMAN
To the elevator, boys...
Cont.
KRWOUITALLIO“’. COb)
103
326 Cont.
BATMAN
Catwoman! I said STOP!
CATWOMAN
I don't think you mean it, Batman.
For just one move by you...and
METS
327 BIG REACTION SHOT - BATMAN
He's frozen, torn by indecision, his face works under mask.
328 LONG SHOT - DOWN CORRIDOR - TOWARD DYNAMIC DUO
That moment of indecision is enough. Crooks come to life,
dive into the open elevator, the doors slide closed. Batman
and Robin have come to life too, but too late. They come
sprinting TOWARD CAMERA, stop and look into:
329 INT. COUNCIL ROOM ~- OVER THEIR SHOULDERS
RQBIN
The Security Council... Gone!
BATMAN
What a fiendishly clever way to
abduct NINE MEN from a HEAVILY
GUARDED BUILDING!
330 BACK TO CORRIDOR - BATMAN AND ROBIN
leave Council Room doorway, spin and rush across to closed
elevator doors.
ROBIN
Where does this elevator go??
BATMAN
Downstairs, obviously. To an
abandoned SUBMARINE DOCK along the
river.
ROBIN
Holy Captain Nemo... They'll head
for the sea via Short Island Sound!
BATMAN
(super-steely)
We have just one trump card left,
Robin. Heaven help the world if
we fail!
BAT WHIP TO:
331 EXT. SUBMERGED SUBMARINE (STOCK)
332 INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM
PENGUIN
Down periscope! We're over the
last bar! Mr. Bluebeard..,.all
engines Full Ahead!
108 BLUEBEARD
Yo-ho! 411 together, Full Ahead!
KRWOUITALLIO’. CObd
333
334
335
336
108
REVISED ~ "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 104
CLOSER SHOT - CHART TABLE
There are nine little corked tubes of dust lined up on
table, under greedy regard of Catwoman, Riddler and Joker.
CATWOMAN
What a purrrr-fectly delightful
haul...
Penguin comes INTO SHOT,
PENGUIN
Mr. Riddler, kindly prepare the
nine Radio Ransom Messages.
RIDDLER
Right!
As Riddler starts away, Joker jumps up and grabs him.
JOKER ,
And none of your stupid RIDDLES,
understand? Make those messages
plain!
CATWOMAN
One billion dollars cash from each
country... .
PENGUIN
Precisely, Mr. Riddler. To be
delivered to our Secret Island. By
the horde of trained CARRIER PIGEONS
which we will presently ‘provide. No
whimsical embellishments, make those
messages clear!
Joker gives Riddler a push, latter goes off. Catwoman lets
out a languorous sigh.
CATWOMAN
It's like a dream, Pengy-sweet.
Nothing can stop us now!
BAT WHIP TO:
EXT. WATER - SPEEDING BATBOAT - DAY
A low-level HELICOPTER SHOT; showing the fantastic craft
batting along like hell with a tremendous rooster-tail
of spray.
EXT, BATBOAT COCKPIT - DAY (PROCESS)
Batman at helm, Robin wearing headphones over Sonar equip-
ment. Robin reacts suddenly.
ROBIN
Sonar contact! Range eight thousand,
bearing one-eight-one!
INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM
Bluebeard turns from sub's sonar gear, gives shout:
Cont.
KWOUNTALLSCE CODY
108
105
336 Cont.
BLUEBEARD
Sonar contact! Small craft at
seven-five-hundred, bearing zero-one!
PENGUIN
What? Small craft?
BLUEBEARD
Closing incredibly fast, sir.., Range
now down to...seven thousand!
JOKER
The BATBOAT??
PENGUIN
Faugh! Dret that cockleshell!
(shouts )
Catwoman, bear down on the diving
planes?
JOKER
T'll man the torpedo tubes!
PENGUIN
Indeed, sir! Mr. Riddler.,.fire a
surface-to-surface underwater
homing missile?
337 INT. SUB MISSILE ROOM
338
339
Riddler comes racing in, quickly sets gadgets, loses no
time in pushing FIRE BUTTON.
EXT. POLARIS MISSILE LAUNCH (STOCK)
Missile breaks surface, shoots up into sky.
EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT
ROBIN
Missile ahoy!
Batman grabs up Batbinocs, peers up through them.
BATMAN
Looks like it has a homing device
in the nose-cone,.. Get ready
for evasive action!
Batman lowers glasses, leaps for the helm.
KROUITALLIO“. COb)
REVISED.- "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 106
3h0 EXT. SPEEDING BATBOAT - HELICOPTER SHOT ~ DAY
Batboat goes into tremendous zig-zag, hurling up tons
of spume.
341 EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
ROBIN
No use, Batman! It's TRACKING
US!
BATMAN
Take the helm! I'll get the
x Batradio!
ROBIN
x Batradio?7?
BATMAN
I looked it up this morning...
That class of missile receives
on a wave-length of one-six-four-
point-one! If I can just send
&@ quick JAMMING SIGNAL...
(at radio
console)
There... I think that ought to
do the trick..,
ROBIN
It's starting down!!!
Batman dives again for helm, throws it hard over.
342 EXT. BATBOAT
Another crazy skidding turn.
343 EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
THUNDERCLAP SOUND as a GIGANTIC EXPLOSION goes off
on PROCESS SCREEN: it might well be an underwater
atom bomb: test. ‘
ROBIN
Holy Bikini! That was CLOSE!!!
108
KNOUITALLION“.COb/
107
344 INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM
Crooks all hold onto stanchions as room SHAKES and
SHUDDERS from the missile explosion. LIGHTS BLINK ON
AND OFF,
PENGUIN
Farewell, Batboat!
TOKER
Farewell, Dynamic Duo!
CATNOMAN
(drawn out)
Ciao! Miaowwwww!
BLUEBEARD
(at sonar)
Small craft stil2 closing! Range
four thousand! Bearing eight-eight!
RIDDLER
Curses! They know how to jam our
missiles!!
PENGUIN
Catwoman! Take her up to Periscope
Depth:
345 EXT. SPEEDING BATBOAT
It finishes a gyration, holds on a steady course.
346 EXT, BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
ROBIN
Range...three-five-hundred!
BATMAN
I'll set tne Batpilot to Automatic...
Help me prepare the Batcharge
Launcher!
ROBIN
Roger!
They pull tarp hastily off BATCHARGE LAUNCHER. It's
iike common depth charge Y-launcher, only greatly smaller,
owing to superior power of Batcharges.
BATMAN
This 1s going to need every ounce
of our skill, Robin...
Cont.
108
KNOUITALLION“.COb/
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66
346 Cont.
ROBIN
You can say that again, Batman!
BATMAN
They hold nine of the world's most
eminent men in Dehydrated Condition!
Our task is not to sink that sub, ~
merely drive it to the surface!
347 EXT. WATER - PERISCOPE
It pops up with little Jolly Roger attached, cuts
through the water, leaving a wake.
348 INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM - PENGUIN
with eye glued to periscope.
349 THROUGH PERISCOPE EFFECT - BATBOAT
right in CROSS HAIRS, racing DIRECTLY TOWARD LENS,
350 BACK TO COMMAND ROOM
PENGUIN
Bow torpedo tubes... Prepare to
fire!
JOKER
All ready, Penguin...
PENGUIN
Catwoman, stand by on diving planes...
(then)
Torpedoes, FIRE!
JOKER
Torpedoes AWAAAY!
351 EXT, SUBMERGED SUB NOSE (STOCK)
as torpedoes burbdle swiftly out.
352 INT, COMMAND ROOM
PENGUIN
Diveil!
353 EXT, BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
Robin reacts to something forward, shouts:
Cont.
108
KWOUNTALLSCE. COPS
108
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/13/66 109
353 Cont.
—
355
356
357
358
108
ROBIN
Torpedo wakes: DEAD AHEAD!
BATMAN
Batcharges! Fire!!! In front of
those torpedoes!?
Batman leaps to helm, Robin to Batcharge Launcher.
Robin swings it, presses FIRE BUTTON.
CLOSE SHOT - BATCHARGE LAUNCHER
It FIRES a quick succession of little BATCHARGES.
EXT, SPEEDING BATBOAT
It heels over in a tremendous bit of evasive action.
EXT. WATER - SHOOTING OVER BATBOAT
MONSTER WATERSPOUTS as Batcharges detonate oncoming
torpedoes.
INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM - FEATURE RIDDLER
clicking STOP WATCH, looking at it as room SHAKES and
REELS with the not-so-distant explosions.
RIDDLER
Too soon! Must've been Batcharges!
: PENGUIN
Indeed. And there'll soon be more
of the dratted things...MEANT FOR
Us!
Catwoman flies at Penguin in mingled rage and panic.
CATWOMAN
You dismal bird! You and your sub-
marine! WHERE'S IT GOT US NOW?!
PENGUIN
Shut up! You feline floozy! Back to
the diving planes! RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP!
EXT, SPEEDING BATBOAT
It roars over the water on a steady course,
WOUNTALLIOE CODY
108
360
362
363
110
EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
ROBIN
(at sonar)
They're diving... Engines being
switched to silent...
BATMAN
Good. Just the way we want ‘em.
ROBIN
What's the scheme, Batman??
BATMAN
We'll circle them at full-thrust
Batspeed! Diminishing radius of
curvature! Set launcher for...one
Batcharge per second!
ROBIN
Roger:
EXT. SPEEDING BATBOAT - HIGH SHOT
It heels over, starts to cut a tremendous circle
through the water.
INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM
PENGUIN
Mr, Bluebeard! What's their
bearing? ?
BLUEBEARD
lavst don't Know, sir!
PENGUIN
Faugh: Don't know???
BLUEBEARD
Look... It's changing every second!
They must be CIRCLING US!
EXT, SPEEDING BATBOAT - HIGH SHOT
Batboat is circling indeed, at fantastic speed.
EXT, BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
BATMAN
Batcharge Launcher to Rapid Fire...
Let her go, Robin!?!
As Robin presses button:
KRWOUITALLIO‘“. COb)
108
365
366
367
A-367
B-367
368
369
REVISED - "BATMAN" ~ 4/12/66 111
CLOSE SHOT - BATCHARGE LAUNCHER
PLUP-PLUP-PLUP: precisely one per second.
EXT, SURFACE OF WATER
as ORANGE BATCHARGES strike it. These deadly super-power
devices are not much larger than an ordinary can of peas.
EXT, SUBMERGED SUBMARINE (STOCK )
as DEPTH CHARGES EXPLODE nearby, This STOCK should not
be impossible to secure: we are unaware of any submarine
picture which has not included it.
INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM - VARIOUS SHOTS
as the nasty BATCHARGES DETONATE in steady succession.
Full-scale HELL BELOW, Deck TILTS CRAZILY this way and
that, sends super-crooks and crew careening. LIGHTS GO
ON AND OFF. Spluttering ELECTRICAL EXPLOSIONS at control
boards, with ominous FLASHES and lots of ACRID SMOKE.
INT, COMMANDER REDHEAD'S CABIN - VARIOUS SHOTS
As each explosion occurs he continues hig reading,
apparently unperturbed except for the fact that his
monocle keeps popping out of his eye and having to be
replaced.
INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM - VARIOUS SHOTS OF CHART TABLE
containing the test tube rack with the vials full of
dehydrated security council members, The rack moves
closer and closer to the edge of the table with each
successive explosion until it is perched right on the
brink.
EXT, SUBMERGED SUBMARINE (STOCK)
Further CHARGES EXPLODING,
INT, SUB COMMAND ROOM - VARIOUS SHOTS
Continued PANIC AND CONFUSION as BATCHARGES CONTINUE.
BLUEBEARD
Compartments A...B...C...F
Taking green water, sir!!!
yi
A stream of WATER comes gushing down on Penguin as he
clings crazily to periscope base. Catwoman comes
lurching over, grabs him and wails:
Cont.
KWOUNTALLICE COPS
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 111-A
x
369 Cont.
CATWOMAN
Penguin! Penguin! You know how
CATS HATE WATER!
PENGUIN
Faugh! Drat you!
(pushes her away)
Open your umbrellas, everyone!
With free hand, Penguin snaps open his colorful umbrella,
holds it over his askew top hat.
Cont.
108
KERWOUITALLIO“. COb)
108
370
371
372
REVISED ~ "BATMAN" - 4/12/66
369 Cont.
RIDDLER
That bird's flown around the bend!
CATWOMAN
Joker! Riddler! We weren't born
for a WATERY GRAVE! Do something,
huh???
112
Joker fights lurching way to microphone, yells into it:
JOKER
Now hear this! BLOW ALL TANKS!
SURFACE? ?!
EXT, SPEEDING BATBOAT - HIGH SHOT
It's still hurtling in fabulous fatal circle.
EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
BATMAN
All right, Robin. Cut the Batcharges.
They've had about enough, I'd imagine.
Robin pushes another button on Batcharge Launcher, whirls
back to sonar gear.
ROBIN
You're right, Batman! They're
surfacing... Fast!
BATMAN
Estimated surfacing position
ROBIN.
Nine hundred yards...
looks up, reacts)
Here they come!
EXT. SUBMARINE SURFACING (STOCK)
wee 2?
Sub breaks up through surface with great swoosh of water,
EXT. BATBOAT COCKPIT (PROCESS)
Batman turns helm, then picks up Batbinocs and has a
look.
BAtDA’
Heave to, Robin.
KWOWITALLIOE COPY
374.
376
377
378
379
380
381
108
REVISED ~ "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 113
out
EXT. BATBOAT - FULL SHOT
It leaps ahead; goes into a spuming turn.
INTERCUT:
OUT
EXT, BATBOAT COCKPIT - SHOOTING FORWARD (PROCESS)
Sub's CONNING TOWER AND DECK loom rapidly CLOSER on
PROCESS SCREEN.
‘BATMAN
Ready to board!
ROBIN
Ready, Batman.
Batman throws his Batarang with line attached.
EXT, SUB DECK AND CONNING TOWER
as Batarang with trailing line WHISTLES INTO SHOT, snags
the deck rail and instantly pulls TWANGINGLY TAUT.
JOKER
Pirates! To arms!!!
RIDDLER
Prepare to repel boarders!!!
Batman and Robin come leaping from OFF SCREEN, land nimbly
on the deck just as Penguin pops up through the hatch.
BATMAN
Strike your colors, Penguin?!
PENGUIN
Faugh! We have not yet begun
to fightil!
VARIOUS ANGLES - HUGE FIGHT
over and around conning tower, gun shed, deck and whatnot.
Trot out full array of SUPERED TITLES and SHOWERS OF STARS,
Crewmen emerge, get knocked off as they come end up strewn
around like kayoed sea bags. The criminals lose. Our guys
win, Just at end of it, Catwoman pops up through hatch.
Cont.
KWOVNTALLICE COD
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/12/66 114
381 Cont.
BATMAN
Hold out your wrists, Catwoman!
Come like a lady!
CATWOMAN
(venomous hiss)
Pssssssssssssssssh!
Catwoman darts down again through hatch, Batman and Robin
dash after her.
382 INT. SUB COMMAND ROOM
Catwoman scrambles down ladder, trips at the bottom, sprawls
on the deck.
383- OUT
385
108
KWOUNTALLSOE COPY
108
386
387
388
389
390
391
U5
FEATURE BATMAN AND ROBIN
They bound towards her, suddenly both stop and absolutely
freeze.
“THEIR P.0.V. - CATWOMAN ON DECK - CLOSE
Her pussy mask has come off in her tumble. She is revealed
as KITKA.
CLOSE SHOT - ROBIN
ROBIN
(breathes)
Holy heartbreak... Miss Kitka!
BIG CLOSEUP - CATWOMAN/KITKA
BIG CLOSEUP - BATMAN - OPTICAL MONTAGE
is frozen face, with SHIMMERING GHOSTLY IMAGES SUPERED
OVER to SOUND of VIOLINS PLAYING "PARLEZ-MOI D! AMOUR."
Images from that fabulous night of theirs: Bruce and
Kitka dancing, having dinner, so close in the back of
hansom cab, lovely Kitka en negligee in her apartment.
Suddenly there's effect of SHATTERED SHEET OF GLASS over
the whole schmear, VIOLIN MUSIC ENDS in an AWFUL DISCORD.
The dream is over. SUPERED EFFECT ENDS, there's just
stony-faced Batman. ANGLE WIDENS to TIGHT TWO SHOT,
including Robin at his side.
BATMAN
Say no more, Robin. It could be...
compromising.
ROBIN
Of course.
BATMAN
It's just...one of those things in
the life of every crime fighter.
It means noening . Snap on the
Bateuffs!
WIDER ANGLE - BATMAN
He turns abruptly, goes to radio console near chart table.
He rudely pushes a crook draped thereon to the deck, flicks
a couple of switches and picks up hand mike. Into it, curtly:
BATMAN
Batman to Coast Guard. There's 2
drifting submarine two miles east
of Sandy Nose Lightship. It's
filled with human jetsam. Come
take it in tow,
As he turns off radio, he notices something on the chart
table, reacts.
KRWOUITALLION“. CObd
108
392
395
394
395
REVISED - "BATMAN" - 4/13/66 116-117
HIS P.0.V. - CHART TABLE - CLOSE
The rack containing the NINE TUBES of DIFFERENT-COLORED
DUST is perched so precariously on the edge of the table,
it seems to be defying gravity.
BATMAN
(o.s.)
Robin! Come here and look...
WIDER: ANGLE
Robin gets up from Batcuffing Catwoman, comes over and looks.
ROBIN
Holy almost!
BATMAN
Yes, Robin. The hope of the entire
world. To think it might have been
shattered before our very eyes.
As he picks up the vials, reverently we hear loud BRITISH
VOICE o.s.
REDHEAD
Iosay! Steward!
NEW ANGLE - FEATURE COMMANDER REDHEAD
entering irascibly from an aft compartment, full. of loud
complaint:
REDHEAD
The service on this yacht has gone
to pot! Where's my tea??
(seeing
Dynamic Duo)
What the devil is this? The
captain's Costume Party???
Advancing peevishly, Commander Redhead trips over some
debris on deck. He gives a CRY, does a REELING PRATFALL
the entire length of the Command Room and smashes right into
Batman!: CRASH!!! A terrible SHIVERING SOUND of TINKLING
BREAKING GLASS!!!
CLOSE SHOT - THE DECK
The NINE VIALS have been knocked over, are busted, the dust
is half out of each. Commander Redhead's HEAD is also IN
SHOT, right beside them. His lip quivers, he gives a TERRIFIC
SNEEZE.. Swoooooossssh! Blast of the kerchoo swirls the vari-
colored dust into a hopelessly MIXED MESS. CAMERA HOLDS on it
a beat, then TILTS UP to horrified faces of Batman and Robin
staring down.
ROBIN
Holy jumble! Where's the hope of
the world now???
BAT WHIP TO:
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OUT
INT, BATCAVE
Batman and Robin, with surgical masks. over their masks,
surgical gloves over their gloves, and doctors! white
smocks over their costumes, are working at super-complexicated
machinery (several of their normal ones hooked together)
labeled: "SUPER-MOLECULAR DUST SEPARATOR", As they work
levers and switches, monitor guages:
ROBIN
Bat-Centrifuge at thirty-two
thousand R.P,M's!
BATMAN
Increase the Angstrom Force in
Vector "X"...
ROBIN
Vector "X", up one notch:
Red Batphone FLASHES and BEEPS, Batman hastens over and
grabs it up.
BATMAN
Yes??
INT, GORDON'!S OFFICE - DAY
Gordon is holding Red Phone, also an ordinary black one off
the hook, Present are O'Hara, a passel of NEWSMEN, also a
MOBILE TV CREW with camera on Gordon, Atmosphere of tense
expectancy is nigh overwhelming.
GORDON
What progress, Batman? Is there
hope?
INTERCUT:
PHONE CONVERSATION - BATCAVE AND GORDON'S OFFICE
BATMAN
There's always hope. You should
know that, sir.
GORDON
Of course, of course, but...
Do you think you and.the Boy Wonder
can separate that mingled dust back
into its constituent members?
Cont.
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400
401
BATMAN
With all modesty, Commissioner.
If we can't, heaven knows who can!
GORDON
From the bottom of my heart:
truer words were never spoken!
INT. GORDON'S OFFICE
As Gordon puts down Batphone, a familiar TEXAS VOICE comes
from receiver of OTHER PHONE which Gordon holds:
VOICE
Howdy, y'all! How are those
boys doing up there?
GORDON
Batman says there's hope, Mr. President!
What more can one ask?
VOICE
The whole free world is waiting. Tell
Batman I salute him and wish him luck.
INT. WAYNE MANOR LIVING ROOM - DAY
where Aunt Harriet and Alfred are watching SCENE IN GORDON'S
OFFICE on big TV SCREEN. Gordon turns to address newsmen
and TV’ CAMERA.
GORDON
(on TV screen)
I needn't tell you with whom
I just spoke, ladies and gentlemen.
AUNT HARRIET
You know, Alfred, I'm just sick with
shame!
ALFRED
Shame, madam?
AUNT HARRIET
For Bruce and Dick...Those two silly
boys...
(groans)
With the whole world in the balance,
THEY choose today to go FISHING!
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INT. BATCAVE - BATMAN AND ROBIN
super-tense at equipment, A BONG-BONG SOUND from the gizmo,
ROBIN
Ready for separation!
BATMAN
All right, now... I'll just
activate the computer-link...
Feed in the various national and
ethnic factors...
ROBIN
Batman... wait a minute!
BATMAN
(surprised)
Eh?
ROBIN
(bit. awkward)
Well...with the way the world
is, and all... Don't you think
maybe we oughta try to improve
those factors? Kind of...
reshuffle them a little?
BATMAN
No Robin, Na, It's not for
mortals like us to tamper with
the Laws of Nature,
(grim)
Indeed, in this very Batcave, we
had a ghastly example of what
happens when one tries that!
ROBIN
Gosh yes, Batman. When you put
it that way...
BATMAN
Here we go!
Batman whacks a lever, Machinery goes into MAXIMUM
ACTIVITY prop department can contrive. CAMERA HOLDS for
then TRUCKS IN to CLOSE SHOT of nine little glass
vials held in some kind of holder under a set of tubes,
MONTAGE OF SILENT EXPECTANT CROWD SCENES FROM VARIOUS
INTERNATIONAL CAPITALS AS THE WHOLE WORLD WAITS HOLDING
ITS BREATH,
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403 INT. BATCAVE - BATMAN AND ROBIN
The machine reaches a crescendo of maximum activity. The
CAMERA moves in to the empty vials. Presto! Colored
dust starts to flow rapidly into each one. Batman picks
them up sacredly and looks at them - then crosses = the
Batphone, stripping off his surgeons gloves.
BATMAN
Separation accomplished. Ready
to re-hydrate!
404 INT. GORDON'S OFFICE
Commissioner Gordon is awed. He speaks into the other phone.
GORDON"
Separation accomplished. They
are ready to re-hydrate.
A-4O4 INT. OFFICE THAT COULD BE THAT OF THE PRESIDENT
CAMERA is shooting from behind a big shair whose occupant is
unseen, On the desk before him are a hattery of microphones.
A telephone is replaced in its cradle.
VOICE
Separation accomplished. We are
ready to re-hydrate.
BAT WHIP. TO:
405 EXT. BATCAVE ENTRANCE - DAY (BATSTOCK)
Batmobile shoots out onto highway.
BAT WHIP TO:
406 EXT. UNITED WORLD BUILDING ~ DAY (STOCK)
Flags flying, great slahblike building gleaming against the
s
4O7 INT. UNITED WORLD COUNCIL CHAMBER - DAY
Gordon and O'Hara, varioys DISTINGUISHED SPECTATORS, Batman
and Robin. A simple apparatus has been set up on the big
gleaming table: equivalent of a transfusion gizmo, with
tubes leading from a central reservoir labeled "PLAIN WATER
(LIGHT)" to the NINE LITTLE GLASS VIALS, Each of latter
is set on chair appropriate to Security Council Member
contained therein; we know them by signs on table in front
of each. "GREAT BRITAIN," "FRANCE," "U.S.S.R," "ALBANIA,"
"GERMANY," "JAPAN," "TTALy, " "GHANA, 7 "ISRARL. "Batman
and Robin place the dast of the vials in proper position,
then Batman turns:
Cont.
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409
410
411
412
413
hy
BATMAN
A solemn moment, my friends.
One of dedication and humble
supplicationee.
(turns head)
Robin! Prepare to re-hydrate!.
Turn on the water faucet!
Robin reaches out, turns on a perfectly ordinary water faucet
which is bizarrely integrated in the gleaming equipment. It
should be labeled "WATER FAUCET".
VERY CLOSE SHOT - TRANSPARENT TUBING
the water creeps tantalizingly slowly down the various tubes
toward the several vials.
A SERIES OF INDIVIDUAL CUTS OF FEARFUL AND EXPECTANT ONLOOKERS
the ‘suspense is too much!
OTHER ANGLES - SPECIAL EFFECT
As the creeping water finally hits the dust. One by one in
front of our eyes, the SECURITY COUNCIL MEMBERS POP BACK
INTO EXISTENCE - exactly as they were when DEHYDRATED,
complete with colorful national dress and other identifying
paraphernalia.
FULL SHOT - DISTINGUISHED ONLOOKERS
they gasp in admiration and relief.
CLOSE SHOT - COMMISSIONER GORDON
He still holds a very special phone.
GORDON
(excitedly - into phone)
They've done it... Success, success}?!
CLOSE SHOT - BACK OF THAT CERTAIN OFFICE CHAIR - AS BEFORE .
The battery of microphones are still before him on the desk.
VOICE
We've done it... We've done it...
Success... success.
FULL SHOT - DISTINGUISHED ONLOOKERS
they turn to look off in amazement as o.s. we hear a strident
resurgence of voices.
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FULL SHOT ~- RE-HYDRATED COUNCIL MEMBERS -
They have all resumed yelling at each other in exactly the
same furious fashion as when they were first dehydrated. An
identical continuance of the same scene,
CLOSE SHOT - COMMISSIONER GORDON
astounded.
CLOSE SHOT - BATMAN AND ROBIN
perplexed,
SERIES OF ANGLES
as the CAMERA MOVES IN on the various members of the
re-hydrated Security Council one by one. Certainly they are
all yelling at each other exactly as before - but there is one
small difference. Now the ENGLISHMAN is spouting in RUSSIAN,
the FRENCHMAN in GERMAN, the AMERICAN in CHINESE etc. etc.
THE ENGLISHMAN rips off a shoe, begins to pound it on the
table.
SERIES OF ANGLES
as all of the distinguished onlookers turn to look toward
Batman and Robin.
CLOSE SHOT - COMMISSIONER GORDON AND O'HARA
they too look toward their Dynamic Duo,
CLOSE SHOT - BATMAN AND ROBIN
even Robin turns to look at Batman with a questioning
expression.
BATMAN
Who knows, Robin... This strange...
mixing of minds... may be the
greatest single service ever performed
for humanity.
(he looks around him
at the extraordinary scene)
Let's go. But inconspicuously!
Through the window... with our
Batropes... Our job is finished.
Batman and Robin push inconspicuonsly through the yelling,
wrestling, pummeling mob, exit the scene via window, as
CAMERA PULLS BACK.
FADE OUT
THE END
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